Just Much Too Soon

A young man in my daughter's 8th grade class has passed away.  He died of Leukemia.  He was 13 years old.  This boy fought off this hideous disease for 18 months.  He missed almost all of his 7th grade year of school, instead spending it in various hospital beds in the area hospitals, fighting for his life.  This time last year, he was declared to be in remission.  When school began in September, he was present in the classrooms.  He was in my daughter's homeroom, and in many of her classes. 

Funny and happy go lucky before his diagnosis, he returned to school with a zest for life.  Happy beyond words to be back in school.  He wasn't allowed to return to playing football, but he attended the games and cheered on his team.  He teased the girls, joked with the boys, and was considered by all a joy to be around.

Then came the day in the middle of October when he did not come to school.  Whispers ran through the school that he was sick again.  The kids asked the teachers what was going on, but the teachers were just as clueless as the students.  By the end of the day, the school received the words that they had been dreading to hear: The cancer was back, and it was very aggresive. 

Tears were shed, but everyone was convinced that he would beat it this time, too.  Packages of cards and letters were delivered from the school once a week, as the kids sent him games, books, and notes about the latest goings on in the classrooms.

Earlier this week, we received word that he lost his valiant battle. 

The reaction among the kids has been difficult to keep track of.  All of them are heartbroken.  All of them are sad beyond words.  Grief has weird ways of manifesting itself.

I know as a parent, I am heartbroken beyond words.  My heart breaks for his parents.  How awful it is to watch your child struggle for life day after day... think he has won the battle, and then lose the battle at the age of 13. 

As the mother of one of his class mates and friends, I am struggling.  We've spent a lot of time talking about what a great kid he was and how many lives he's touched in his 13 years of life.  I believe that his life will have a significant impact on the lives of his friends for the rest of their lives.  But, how do I answer the "Why?"  questions:  Why did he have to die?  Why did he get cancer and nobody else has it?  Can I get cancer and die too? Why didn't the drugs work for him? 

I've done my best to muddle through the answers, finally ending with "Sometimes, life just isn't fair.  Bad things happen, and we don't know why." 

For me, my only answer has been to hug the kids - often and long.  And tell them every chance I get how much I love them.

We love you, Cam.  You will be missed.

This post originally appeared in my now defunct "Mom's View" blog.  I moved it to this blog at the request of my kids, who wanted to have all of the various posts that accompanied their high school years in one place.  I've matched the publication dates here to their original post date.  If you're reading these posts, I sincerely thank you for taking the time to go back through them all!