A Disturbing Trend

I was part of a discussion the other night, and I'm going to try to share with you the horror some of us felt over the course of this conversation.

Someone found a facebook page, where her daughter had listed herself as "The School Slut"... with the tagline "If you have an STD, you got it from me!"  The Twitter page was even worse.  Although she used a fake name on the Twitter page, she had listed her cell phone number along with the tagline "If you need a good roll in the hay with no strings attached, call me!"

This young lady is all of 14 years old.

Lately, it seems as if being a slut and sleeping around are goals for young girls to achieve.  Those that choose to wait are being teased and mocked for not "being with it"  or for "being babies" or "scared". 

Really?

Sex is a highly emotional event for anyone. How can a 14 year old understand the implications of choosing to engage in risky sexual behavior?  How can they understand the deep emotional implications of what they are choosing as a lifestyle.  Even more, how can they mock others who have not chosen the same path as them?

Oh, the aggravation of it all.

We see constant images in the media of girls who have gone wild.  Teen Mom, while it shows some of the difficulties of having children at a young age, does not go into the deep emotional turmoil a child goes through when they have sex before they are emotionally ready for it.  The Jersey Shore- that horrible, horrible, horrible mockery of all that should be glamorizes drinking and the bad choices that go along with it.

I occasionally watch television, and when I do, I am shocked at the messages the mainstream media is sending our young children.  Glorifying sex and drinking as a teenager has now become passe.

I know I'm in my forties, but back in the day, I am certain that there were kids engaging in sex while still in high school.  I do remember stories circulating starting when we were Juniors in high school, but I don't remember these stories when we were in middle school.  I also don't remember television and movies glorifying teenage sex.  The Dukes of Hazard had a beautiful Daisy Duke wearing short shorts while working in a bar.  Dallas had very rich people making very bad decisions.  I remember some fooling around on Dallas- but it was between married people, and not between teenagers.  Welcome Back Kotter and Happy Days showcased the lives of teenagers, but never did the kids engage in sex.  They engaged in pranks on teachers and each other, and talked about dating.  But the graphic images of sex never happened.  Never once did we see The Fonz running around half naked.  He was always fully dressed in jeans and leather jacket.  (With a white t-shirt underneath.)  While John Travolta got his start on Welcome Back Kotter, we never saw him unclothed, either.  Every once in a while, he would flip that gorgeous hair back out of his face. 

Somewhere in the last decade, the powers that be in Hollywood decided to move the age on consent in the movies and on television lower.  Instead of showcasing older actors portraying teenagers in humorous situations, they began portraying younger actors (who were either still teens, or just barely out of their teens) in more adult situations.

And somewhere along the line, we as adults stopped putting our foot down.  Instead of saying "no" to those images, and those shows, we allowed our children to watch them.  We gave them televisions with cable connections for their own rooms.  Gone are the days when there was one television in the house.  Even worse, we've given our kids access to the internet.  Many of us have given our kids laptops or desk computers located in the child's room.  In doing so, we have lost control over what our kids are seeing or doing on their computers. 

It is time to take back control.  Truly - move down to one television in your house.  Move the computer into the kitchen or family room and turn the screen so that everyone can see it from everywhere in the room.  We are the adults.  We are not in this journey to be friends with our kids.  We are in this journey to raise responsible adults.  We want them to make the journey to adulthood relatively unscathed.

Remembering My Dad

Up until he was 60, Dad was a runner.  And a vegetarian.  He served in the military for 20 years, and when he retired, he went back to his hometown out in the Mid-West and worked teaching the underemployed job skills that would help them get a better job. 

When lung disease finally began to take it's terrible toll on him, he had to stop running.  He still ate healthy, with the exception of the occasional chocolate milk shake from McDonalds, and a Peanut Buster Parfait from Dairy Queen on his birthday.

The steroids that he was on to help him breathe bulked him up.  He was barrell chested for the last three years of his life, and he would sit on his knees on the floor, leaning over the coffee table to help him breathe.  The doctors call it tri-poding.  For the last year of his life, he was unable to sit up, and unable to walk on his own.  He had to use a scooter to get around his own house, and couldn't use the bathroom or take a shower on his own.

Dad also smoked two packs of cigarettes a day from the time he was 19 until the doctors put him on oxygen at the age of 61.  I think between the cigarettes and the chemicals he was exposed to in Vietnam, he had a potent chemical combination in his body, swirling around and doing damage to his lungs.

Dad has been gone for 6 years now.  His lungs were so bad that he had been prohibited to have general anesthesia during surgery.  This is the day when his appendix ruptured.  He was rushed to the hospital, and left with no choice, the doctors had to put him under general anesthesia and operate. 

He lasted a while after the surgery.  He died the last weekend in April.  They weren't easy weeks for him, but we did get a chance to go out and see him one last time, and spend time with him and say our good-byes.

So, why am I bringing this up, you ask?

Good Question.

Lent began yesterday.  Christians around the world are fasting for the next 40 days.

If you smoke, I encourage you to give it up for Lent.  Not for the full 40 days - I do understand how hard that would be.

BUT- you could start with one of two days a week.  Fridays and Wednesdays.  OR, you could not smoke from sunrise to sunset.  Or, you could use a nicotine patch. 

Please.  If you smoke, consider what I'm asking.  I lost my father when I was 40 years old.  He missed the graduation of his oldest grandson.  He is missing the incredible FRC Robotics competitions that his middle grandson is involved with.  (And my father would have been passionate about that.)  He's missed his granddaughters' passion for photography beginning to come to fruition. 

Give yourself a present for Easter this year.  The gift of some quality years of life.

A Reprieve From Classwork

In January, I decided to return to school.  Five classes shy of finishing my Master's Degree, I was done with excuses.  I applied for readmission and continued my journey through the online world of classes.
I am working on my Master's Degree in Library Science, with the eventual hope of teaching in a School Media Center. 

The problem is that the school I am attending online is out of state.  So, once I finish this degree, I still won't be finished.  I will have to take the classes to be certified in my state, and complete my student teaching experience. 

It's funny.  I'm already a certified teacher, and I do substitute teach on a regular basis.  However, I get to take another round of the Praxis exams, and take even more method classes and student teach AGAIN....  There are times when I am just not sure it's worth the effort.

Classes are coming along.  This quarter, I'm taking a class about Academic Libraries.  What with the addition of e-Books, e-readers, and the rise of electronic databases, the library world is quickly changing.  We are seven weeks into this ten week class, and our professor had to change the reading list for this week because so much has changed since she wrote the syllabus in December. 

The learning commons at Wesley Seminary.
This is the view down to the second floor.

The best part of this class has been the visits to academic libraries in my region.  I recently visited  the library on the campus of Wesley Theological Seminary in Washington, D.C.  Oh my gosh, this library is downright beautiful.  Newly renovated, the first floor includes a beautiful learning commons and new study rooms.  Okay, I freely admit that I am a library geek.  I love to visit libraries.  I love the books, I love the musty smell, and I love the atmosphere.  This building took my breath away.  Big open spaces on the main floor, with multiple stations for laptops.  Chairs with arm tables for holding books were scattered throughout the first floor.  A lovely cafe off to the side, with a coffee pot, and tables for groups to sit and collaborate completed this serene picture. 

It almost... almost...almost.... made me want to pursue another degree, just so that I could go sit in that beautiful library.