A Disturbing Trend

I was part of a discussion the other night, and I'm going to try to share with you the horror some of us felt over the course of this conversation.

Someone found a facebook page, where her daughter had listed herself as "The School Slut"... with the tagline "If you have an STD, you got it from me!"  The Twitter page was even worse.  Although she used a fake name on the Twitter page, she had listed her cell phone number along with the tagline "If you need a good roll in the hay with no strings attached, call me!"

This young lady is all of 14 years old.

Lately, it seems as if being a slut and sleeping around are goals for young girls to achieve.  Those that choose to wait are being teased and mocked for not "being with it"  or for "being babies" or "scared". 

Really?

Sex is a highly emotional event for anyone. How can a 14 year old understand the implications of choosing to engage in risky sexual behavior?  How can they understand the deep emotional implications of what they are choosing as a lifestyle.  Even more, how can they mock others who have not chosen the same path as them?

Oh, the aggravation of it all.

We see constant images in the media of girls who have gone wild.  Teen Mom, while it shows some of the difficulties of having children at a young age, does not go into the deep emotional turmoil a child goes through when they have sex before they are emotionally ready for it.  The Jersey Shore- that horrible, horrible, horrible mockery of all that should be glamorizes drinking and the bad choices that go along with it.

I occasionally watch television, and when I do, I am shocked at the messages the mainstream media is sending our young children.  Glorifying sex and drinking as a teenager has now become passe.

I know I'm in my forties, but back in the day, I am certain that there were kids engaging in sex while still in high school.  I do remember stories circulating starting when we were Juniors in high school, but I don't remember these stories when we were in middle school.  I also don't remember television and movies glorifying teenage sex.  The Dukes of Hazard had a beautiful Daisy Duke wearing short shorts while working in a bar.  Dallas had very rich people making very bad decisions.  I remember some fooling around on Dallas- but it was between married people, and not between teenagers.  Welcome Back Kotter and Happy Days showcased the lives of teenagers, but never did the kids engage in sex.  They engaged in pranks on teachers and each other, and talked about dating.  But the graphic images of sex never happened.  Never once did we see The Fonz running around half naked.  He was always fully dressed in jeans and leather jacket.  (With a white t-shirt underneath.)  While John Travolta got his start on Welcome Back Kotter, we never saw him unclothed, either.  Every once in a while, he would flip that gorgeous hair back out of his face. 

Somewhere in the last decade, the powers that be in Hollywood decided to move the age on consent in the movies and on television lower.  Instead of showcasing older actors portraying teenagers in humorous situations, they began portraying younger actors (who were either still teens, or just barely out of their teens) in more adult situations.

And somewhere along the line, we as adults stopped putting our foot down.  Instead of saying "no" to those images, and those shows, we allowed our children to watch them.  We gave them televisions with cable connections for their own rooms.  Gone are the days when there was one television in the house.  Even worse, we've given our kids access to the internet.  Many of us have given our kids laptops or desk computers located in the child's room.  In doing so, we have lost control over what our kids are seeing or doing on their computers. 

It is time to take back control.  Truly - move down to one television in your house.  Move the computer into the kitchen or family room and turn the screen so that everyone can see it from everywhere in the room.  We are the adults.  We are not in this journey to be friends with our kids.  We are in this journey to raise responsible adults.  We want them to make the journey to adulthood relatively unscathed.