It Takes a Village

 This post originally appeared in my now defunct "Mom's View" blog.  I moved it to this blog at the request of my kids, who wanted to have all of the various posts that accompanied their high school years in one place.  I've matched the publication dates here to their original post date.  If you're reading these posts, I sincerely thank you for taking the time to go back through them all!

It's a trite saying, and we've heard it often.  It takes a village to raise a child.

I have been thinking of that statement a lot recently as I look back on the experience of getting the middle child through high school. 

Middle child has always been a challenge.  He sees school work as more of a guideline than a hard and fast rule.  He hates the drudgery of assignments that require you to regurgitate information, but lead to no actual learning.  He has a winning, smiling attitude, but if you are a teacher and he is bored in your class, you are going to have an interesting challenge on your hands.  I've had calls from teachers over the years as he's done everything from pounce on their math errors to submitting pages of information on grammatical and spelling errors on the school web site.  Let's not forget the 24 page lab reports for the chemistry teacher who told him he didn't give enough detail in his first assignment.   Fortunately, most of his teachers have been understanding and have taken this as a sign of him needing a greater challenge and have risen to the occasion and given him the challenge he desired.

However, nothing met this need for him as much as FIRST robotics.  In his Freshman year, his homeroom teacher snagged him for the robotics team.  He began working on the public relations team, and enjoyed the educational outreach.  He found out more about programming and began programming, and worked on the build team, helping to make the robot better.

Throughout the last four years, he has had all of the project based, meaningful learning that his heart could desire.  Keeping up with the drudgery of classwork was difficult, but he did it because the team requires a 2.5 average to remain on the team. 

The other parents are, without a doubt, my village.

Each of us has stepped in to guide a child when the parents are fed up and the children won't or don't want to hear what is being said to them.  The firm parental guidance of another parent (mentor) who respects your child and yet will also listen to them and help them through their frustrations with school, family, significant others, and yes, parents, has helped each of our children succeed.  They all know that there are other adults they can safely talk with, who respect them, and who will help guide them through their turmoils.

I have watched my son grow and mature over the last four years.  I can look at the three mentors who have worked so devotedly with the build team, and I can see the influence each of them has had on him.  Where 5 years ago, he would have yelled and thrown something if he didn't understand a new concept, I now hear the voice of one of the mentors as he says "Can  you go through that again for the dumbest guy in the room?  I got lost after you said....".  Everyone laughs, tension is relieved, and he gets another explanation of whatever it is that had tripped him up.

We have all taken each other's kids under our wing.  We are a family - a village - of people with one common interest.  Some people find their village through church, others find their village through scouts, or sports, drama, or music.  It doesn't matter where you find your village.  What matters is that you get to know the other parents of the children your child is friends with.  Only then can you help each other out, and watch each other's backs where the kids are involved.

I have been very fortunate.  I found my village.  I have helped many other teenagers through the challenges of high school, and I am truly blessed.  These are amazing kids who will go on to do great things with their lives, and make the world a better place.

Do you have a village in your life?