Secretly Rich

I am, by nature, a frugal person. Having spent a good chunk of the last 20 years as a Stay at Home Mom, and then returning to the work force very part time, money has always been a precious commodity, and I hold on very tight to what we earn, and stretch it out just as far as I can. I've never thought of us as "rich". We live in a 1970's rancher, we have a decent size yard, we buy used cars and drive them into the ground, and we refuse to take on debt to send our kids through college.

Imagine my surprise when I ran across this article the other day online: 10 Habits of the Rich and Famous, published on the website of AARP: http://www.aarp.org/money/budgeting-saving/info-2014/frugal-spending-habits-of-the-rich-photo.html#slide1

Many of the points in here were fascinating, even more so because we already practice many of these habits in our own home.


 1) Drive a Safe, Practical Car.
OK, I'm not sure, but I think that our 2002 Honda Civic with 198,000 miles qualifies.  We have maintained our car according to the manufacturer's directions for the last 12 years. All told, we've spent less than $3,000 in maintenance on that car.  The biggest expense?  Replacing tires.

Up until last year, we also had a Honda Accord, which finally gave up at 200,000 miles.  We bought it used, with 50,000 miles on it for $10,000 in 2004.

We do have a mini-van.  We also bought it used, from my Father in Law. 

2) Don't Go Anywhere With Money in Your Pocket Looking for Something to Buy.

This one's easy to do when you don't have a lot of spare cash sitting around.

3) Keep Clipping Those Coupons
I don't buy many processed or prepared foods, which is unfortunately what most coupons are for.  I do use coupons for trash bags, toilet paper, paper towels, and shampoo though.

Wait, I grow some of our own food.  Where does this count?

4) Live on (WAY) Less Than You Earn.

We live on less than we earn.  Right now, we are using up any excess cash to put towards textbooks for the kids in college, and paying down the mortgage on the house.  Considering that our Honda has almost 200,000 miles on it, we've begun shifting some of that money over to an account to make a down payment on a new to us car.

5) Dress Fashionably Frugal

We shop at Goodwill.  After we hit up Goodwill and the yard sales, we will fill in what we need on sale at other stores.  I have been known to sew clothes, but having had boys, there's not a lot that I could ever have sewn for them that they would have worn!  I do knit them a dress sweater or vest every couple of years that they can wear to church or to work.

6) Don't Spoil Your Kids

Quote from the article: "Warren Buffet says "I would give my kids just enough so that they would feel that they could do anything, but not so much that they would feel like doing nothing."

We've never been able to give our kids everything that they want, and we've told them to go out and find jobs when they want more than we feel we can give them.  Now that all 3 kids are employed - and earning their own spending money - I feel that we have succeeded.

7) Remember What's Really Important

Family.

Take time to make the memories for your kids of your times together.  Take a trip together, or take advantage of an opportunity.  Whatever you take the time to do together, it will make a difference in the lives of your kids.

8) Cook More at Home

OK, the article is quoting that Taylor Swift and Emma Stone enjoy cooking parties at each other's houses. Somehow, I don't think that this "cooking party" is low key or frugal.

I think it means cooking things at home, from scratch, that are not processed.  I do post ideas on here from time to time about easy, quick dinners to make that are easy on the budget.  Not only are these meals healthier for you, if you are cooking dinner from raw ingredients, it is much easier on the pocket book.

Taking our family of 5 out for dinner can quickly bring our tab up to $100.  For one meal. 
For that same $100, I can buy groceries for a week.

9) When in Doubt, Let Your Wife Control the Money

Actually, I know some women who are horrible with money, and handing them the keys to the bank account could put you in the poor house faster than you know.  I think the person who controls and budgets the money should be the person who has the best head for numbers and is a saver by nature.

10) Drink Cheap Wine.. and Die Broke
I'm just going to quote this directly from the article here.  It deserves some serious meditation on your part:
"It may not be boxed wine, but Chuck Feeney, co-founder of Duty Free Shoppers Group, always chooses the second cheapest wine from the list.  A biography about Feeney, The Billionare Who Wasn't, How Chuck Feeney Made and Gave Away a Fortune Without Anyone Knowing, chronicles Feeney's goal of giving away his fortune to charity before he dies.  A 2012 New York Times article estimated that he has already given away about $6 billion, and was working on getting rid of the last $1.5 billion by 2016.


Food for thought.

How are you doing with this list of goals?

Never Forget

13 years.  8 years to build Freedom Tower.  5 to clean out Ground Zero enough to begin again.  We will never forget.

On that day, we collectively reached out, hugged each other, grieved our losses and came back.

So, while we pause and remember what was taken from us that day, remember this: we are a scrappy country that won independence from the greatest military power on earth 200 years ago - and our army was built of nothing but farmers and immigrants.  

We might not always get along with each other, but we are ONE nation. A scrappy, determined nation.

Ain't nothing gonna keep us down.

*Matthew Wilder, Break My Stride*

A Total Tool

Years ago, I dated a guy in college.  No, he is not my husband.  We went out for one summer.  We went to picnics, we went tubing, and we played D and D with a group of friends.  Looking back on it, I believe I read more into it than actually existed.  Things ended abruptly when school began, and while I was standing there talking to him, he turned to the person standing next to me and asked her out on a date.

Yep.  That was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.

I was still friendly with him, but I moved on.  I dated other people, made new friends, and eventually met the man who has been my husband for 24 years now.

I think about this other dude once in a while, wonder how he's getting along.

I received a friend request from him through facebook the other day.

"OK", I thought.  Why not?  I am facebook friends with several people from that era in my life.

Less than 24 hours later, I had banned him.

Why?

The man is a total tool.

In 24 hours, he had posted over 50 times.  Including moment by moment updates on the Apple announcement yesterday.  Political information, we are talking way out there, so liberal that there really isn't even a name for it out there.  Way too much information about what kind of kinky interests he and his wife have...

But, there were the two posts that did me in.

I had shared a picture about the Vietnam War.  In short, it said that "In an era of burning draft cards, and an unpopular war, proud, determined men went to war.  God Bless our Vietnam Vets".
My father was a Vietnam Vet.  I will not go into the long list here of the horrors he lived with for the rest of his life, but he was permanently scarred by the experience.  I think what hurt him most was when he was attacked at an airport while coming home.  In the United States.  While people watched and jeered.

He posted underneath that the true patriots were the ones who stayed home to protest.

Coward.

His next post, right under that was a general letter, telling everyone how he was bullied because he was friends with gay people while we were in college.  He never stood up for them, but he just assumes that everyone knows where he stood.  He stood for them.

Coward.

Again, we were friends with the same people.  Those gay friends he was dissing in his post are my lifelong friends.  I treasure them.  I was there when stuff was going down, and he never stood up.  He ran the other way.

And now he's blaming them because he was unpopular in college.  WTF??

No, he's not blaming the fact that he wanted to be a player.  Not the fact that he would insult people every chance he got.  Not the fact that he would express things that would make people mightily uncomfortable.  NOPE. 


Look back at your life, and your own interactions, jerk.  You have no one to blame but yourself.

Instead of reveling in the fact the he has a loving wife and kids, a great job, a house, and food to put on the table every night, he is bitter about things that happened in college.

I guess I need to take stock of my own life, too.  Make certain that I am thankful for everything that I have.  I am grateful for my time in college.  My horizons were broadened.  I saw a new side of life.  I spent some time doing mission projects, and found out how graciously blessed I truly am.

I really and truly don't want my friends sitting down and branding me as a "total tool".

I believe that this post might very well qualify me for the "total tool" title.  It's okay, I admit it.

I just hope I'm not in a tool in the rest of my life.

Ray Rice

I live in the Baltimore area.  I am active in many community organizations, including one that works and advocates for the victims of domestic partner violence.  It's a heinous crime, that knows no social or demographic values.  The abused partner feels trapped, and worthless. 

I've also met Ray Rice.  I met him during training camp, back when he was a Rookie, back when the Ravens still had open practices.  I've also met him when he was out in the community, representing the Ravens.  He was a polite, well spoken person.  (He's shorter than me!  Seriously!)

I am passionate about helping the victims of domestic violence get out and get help.  I am passionate about helping them find opportunities to increase their education, and allow them the means to support themselves and regain self-esteem, self-worth, and their sense of self.

I also love my Ravens.  Living in this area, I can't even begin to tell you how much the organization does for the communities surrounding Baltimore.  They go out of their way to support community organizations in this area, they reach out into the schools, they run reading programs, they run sports camps, the players have even been known to make the high school football games in the area, to offer support and advice to the young players. 

February, Ray Rice made a mistake that he is going to regret for the rest of his life.

He hit his fiance and knocked her out.

I was upset when I first heard the story back in February.  My biggest concern was a simple one.  If this happened on tape, what happened at home where no one can see?

I was more upset when I heard that his fiance went ahead and married him.  At the time, I was wondering if it wasn't a ploy to get leniency for Ray at his court hearing.

The NFL slapped him with a 2 game suspension.

The Ravens did nothing.

I remember thinking at the time that it was odd that there was no video footage of the altercation in the elevator.  Most elevators in public buildings have cameras.  Remember the footage of Beyonce's sister fighting in the elevator?  I thought it was odd that this particular bit of footage was out there, but there was nothing from the elevator in Atlantic City.

Personally, I began to smell a cover up.

I was disappointed in my Ravens.  My Ravens gear has yet to come out. 

I boycotted the opening game.  (Okay, I only ever watch it on television.  I seriously doubt that the Ravens even knew or cared that I wasn't there.)

The Ravens organization announced a partnership with the House of Ruth - an organization that advocates for the victims of domestic violence.

I'm still not sure how I feel about that. 

Yesterday, TMZ released the footage of the actual encounter in the elevator.

Suddenly, the NFL and the Ravens took action.  Within hours, Ray was let go from the team, and he was indefinitely banned from the NFL.

Now, the question surfaces.  Did the NFL know about this video?  I'm positive that the Ravens did not know.

But, the NFL is another story.  They are currently giving a song and dance that they were never given the video.

I question their assertion.  They said they wanted to conduct a full investigation into the matter.  Wouldn't a full investigation also include requesting all videos from the place where the incident took place?  You know those casinos in Atlantic City have some of the best security around.  Saying that they didn't know it existed just doesn't quite float for me.  Didn't care enough to follow up is what I'm thinking.

Mike Vick did jail time for running an illegal dog fighting ring.

Ray Rice hits a woman, knocks her out, and what happens?  A 2 game suspension...
Once the video came out, he was banned from football.
Their standard penalty from now on will be a 6 game suspension.
6 game suspension for assault.

This makes me wonder about the priorities of the NFL.  Fighting dogs, bad.  Assaulting women, only bad if you get caught.

Like it or not, sports superstars do help set the tone for our culture.  The youth of our country enjoy football, wear the jerseys of their favorite players, and pay attention to these adults, some of whom have made it out of very tough beginnings and are now living the dream life.

The NFL needs to think seriously about what their next steps are from here.

As for me, I think my Ravens paraphernalia will remain in the closet for now.

Veggie Quinoa Pilaf- it's what's for dinner!

So, my husband starting making this about a month ago.

It's quickly turned into a weeknight staple for us, so I'm sharing it with you!

Veggie Quinoa Pilaf

1 cup quinoa- rinsed well
Various veggies, diced well  (the mix varies according to what is available in the garden that day)
1 onion, diced fine
1 TBSP cinnamon
1 TBSP cumin
1 bay leaf, crushed
1 1/2 cups water
1 cup of chopped pecans
1 cup cranberries, chopped 

In a skillet, put a glug of olive oil onto the bottom of a warmed pan.

Add the diced veggies and onion.  Stir until the onions are just crisp tender.

Add the quinoa, cinnamon, cumin, and bay leaf, give it a really good stir.

Add the water, cover the skillet, lower heat to med-low, and let sit for 20 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Add the pecans and cranberries.

 Stir well before serving.

If you desire, you can add meat to this dish- cook the meat  first.  Once it is fully cooked, then add the veggies and follow the recipe from this point onwards.

Great, wonderful, fantastic healthy meal!  The quinoa and pecans give this recipe a nice punch of protein, too.

Monuments Men

We watched The Monuments Men this weekend.

Have you seen this movie yet?  It is based upon a true story.

During World War 2, Adolf Hitler was flexing his military might, taking over Europe, and working his way into Asia.

While he was busy attempting to take over the world, he had his army stealing major works of art from the people that he had invaded.  Private collections, museums, churches, nothing was considered off limits.  He was attempting to gather the treasures of the human race and keep them for himself.  Whatever he deemed to be unworthy, or degenerate, he would destroy, removing them forever from the human experience.

A team of men from the United States, Great Britain, and France began a search for these missing works before they were lost forever.  These men were museum directors, art historians, and curators.  Traveling around Europe, searching on the front lines for these missing works of art, these men would go unarmed into situations to rescue as much art as possible - track down the owners, and if, at all possible, return it to the owner or their descendants.

This was a fascinating movie.  I tend to forget- in the midst of the crisis in the Ukraine, and the ongoing disaster in the Middle East, what the Greatest Generation actually accomplished for all of us - for the future of the world, and for our children.  Can you imagine if all of this art had disappeared forever from the face of the world?  Their is only one other event in Human History that would compare with this loss to the common human experience- the destruction of the Library at Alexandria.

The book, The Monuments Men, was written by Robert Edsel.  I haven't read it yet.  I have requested it at the library. I'm currently #450 on the waiting list.  I am curious to read "the rest of the story".  While George Clooney did a fantastic job capturing the story on film, I really want to read the story, and see what material did not make it into the movie.

I think in the midst of all the chaos and uncertainty we have going on around us right now, it does help to remember what has happened before, and that we were able to triumph in the midst of great loss and great adversity.

The movie gave me much to think about - and much to be thankful for.


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My Resolutions

8 months later, just how am I doing on my new year's resolutions?

1) 365 Grateful.
I have a gratitude journal.  I write in it weekly.  I list 5-10 things I am thankful for.
While this is not daily, it does keep me grounded, and it reminds me of the many good things I have in my life in the midst of all the crazy things that surround me.

2) Lose 10 Pounds
I have now lost 20 pounds since January!  Who-Hoo!  That's a very, very slow weight loss of 2.5 pounds a month, but since it's so slow, it's sustainable.

3) Run
Again, still haven't been running, but I am walking a lot.  I've also begun lifting some weights.

4) Get Out of Debt
Making progress.  We are paying cash now for everything.  Gas, we are alternating.  One week, we pay with cash, the following week with credit.  Books for the kids were paid for with cash.  We even managed to scrape together the $2000 when the van broke down last week.  We ate interesting foods for a week, and our emergency cash is wiped out, but, it didn't go on a credit card!

5) Finish Cleaning Out the Basement
Making progress!  I moved out of the big messy room because it is just so big and messy.  I began in the family room area.  There is a small area where the utilities are located just off of the family room.  That area has been cleaned out.  Several loads went to Goodwill.  Some went to the trash.  Some went to the rummage sale at the church, and some, I'm going to try and sell on E-Bay later on this month.

6) Finish Oldest Child's Quilt
Finally got the darn needle replaced on the sewing machine, but then, the dining room table became the staging ground for items that I am sorting out for Goodwill, the Rummage Sale, etc.  It's a mess.  I DO have several other craft projects that I have finished up.  Four lap blankets went off to the church, 30 bags went to the House of Ruth's B-More Bags project, and 2 blankets were finished and handed off to Project Linus.  NOTE- all of this has come from scraps of stuff that I found in the basement that needed to be finished.

7) Spend More Time With My Family
This summer was great.  I had many opportunities to spend time with the kids while they were home.  With daughter headed off to college in the fall, I am spending as much one on one time with her as I possibly can.

8) Finish the Book I Keep Saying I'm Going to Write.
Progress!  Only 2 chapters left to research and write!

9) Finish the hallway bathroom.
Remember the post about the van breaking?  And that we had the money to pay cash for the van repair?  Guess where the money came from?  Ah, well.... I can wait.  I'm happy not to have had to put the van repair on credit card.

10)  Get Back Into My Music
Done and Done.  Choir practice at church began last week.  Our first Sunday back in front of the church after summer break will be next week.

How are you doing on your resolutions?