A Total Tool

Years ago, I dated a guy in college.  No, he is not my husband.  We went out for one summer.  We went to picnics, we went tubing, and we played D and D with a group of friends.  Looking back on it, I believe I read more into it than actually existed.  Things ended abruptly when school began, and while I was standing there talking to him, he turned to the person standing next to me and asked her out on a date.

Yep.  That was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.

I was still friendly with him, but I moved on.  I dated other people, made new friends, and eventually met the man who has been my husband for 24 years now.

I think about this other dude once in a while, wonder how he's getting along.

I received a friend request from him through facebook the other day.

"OK", I thought.  Why not?  I am facebook friends with several people from that era in my life.

Less than 24 hours later, I had banned him.

Why?

The man is a total tool.

In 24 hours, he had posted over 50 times.  Including moment by moment updates on the Apple announcement yesterday.  Political information, we are talking way out there, so liberal that there really isn't even a name for it out there.  Way too much information about what kind of kinky interests he and his wife have...

But, there were the two posts that did me in.

I had shared a picture about the Vietnam War.  In short, it said that "In an era of burning draft cards, and an unpopular war, proud, determined men went to war.  God Bless our Vietnam Vets".
My father was a Vietnam Vet.  I will not go into the long list here of the horrors he lived with for the rest of his life, but he was permanently scarred by the experience.  I think what hurt him most was when he was attacked at an airport while coming home.  In the United States.  While people watched and jeered.

He posted underneath that the true patriots were the ones who stayed home to protest.

Coward.

His next post, right under that was a general letter, telling everyone how he was bullied because he was friends with gay people while we were in college.  He never stood up for them, but he just assumes that everyone knows where he stood.  He stood for them.

Coward.

Again, we were friends with the same people.  Those gay friends he was dissing in his post are my lifelong friends.  I treasure them.  I was there when stuff was going down, and he never stood up.  He ran the other way.

And now he's blaming them because he was unpopular in college.  WTF??

No, he's not blaming the fact that he wanted to be a player.  Not the fact that he would insult people every chance he got.  Not the fact that he would express things that would make people mightily uncomfortable.  NOPE. 


Look back at your life, and your own interactions, jerk.  You have no one to blame but yourself.

Instead of reveling in the fact the he has a loving wife and kids, a great job, a house, and food to put on the table every night, he is bitter about things that happened in college.

I guess I need to take stock of my own life, too.  Make certain that I am thankful for everything that I have.  I am grateful for my time in college.  My horizons were broadened.  I saw a new side of life.  I spent some time doing mission projects, and found out how graciously blessed I truly am.

I really and truly don't want my friends sitting down and branding me as a "total tool".

I believe that this post might very well qualify me for the "total tool" title.  It's okay, I admit it.

I just hope I'm not in a tool in the rest of my life.