Nobody Ever Told Me

We visited another college campus this past weekend.  Beautiful campus, set in the mountains of the Mid-Atlantic.  It was a glorious spring day when we began our tour, so the tour guides were wearing their fleece jackets with the name of the school discreetely emroidered on the front.

As we began our tour, one of the admissions officers said to our tour guide "There she goes!  Girl on fire!"  and everyone laughed.

"Everyone is being so mean to me," she lamented.  "We are given these nice fleece jackets to wear as tour guides.  and we even get to keep them! I love my fleece, it's so nice and warm, I wear it all the time.

The other day, I got out of the shower and put my fleece on to warm up quick.  I got warm, but my jacket got wet.  I didn't want to go outside with a wet coat, so I popped it into the microwave for a minute to dry it off.

Nobody ever told me that fleece was flammable!  After like, 5 seconds in the microwave, my jacket burst into flames and melted into this weird little pool of something that I can't get off of the bottom of the microwave."

We all stared at her for a moment, stunned into silence.

"When I went to housing to report my destroyed university owned microwave, they were speechless.  They told me I was the only person ever to have set fire to a fleece jacket in my microwave."

One of the fathers in our group looked up and said in a very deep voice: "I certainly hope you're not the standard  representative of this school."

"Why does everyone keep asking me that question?"  She wondered aloud.

Why, indeed.  A fleece jacket in the microwave....