Mom's House

Mom moved yesterday. 

We moved into that house over President's Day Weekend in 1979.  We had moved from Ohio - where we had snow, snow, and more snow every winter.  Our friends and family all told us how fortunate we were to be moving to the East Coast.  The winters would be milder, the weather would have fewer swings, and much more predictable.

The weekend we moved into that house, we were hit with what was billed as "the storm of the century".  Over 20" of snow fell in one day.

I guess what people forgot to mention is that the winters in the Mid-Atlantic are milder, that is milder up until one of those massive blizzards hits the coast and dumps 20 or more inches of snow in 24 hours.

The night we moved into that house, we slept on the floor in the basement, in front of the fireplace,  At that time, the fireplace was a gas fireplace, and we had the "magic" flames dancing all night long.

I don't know... I don't think I am as sad to leave that house as my sister is.  For me, that house is full of bittersweet memories.  Most of my memories are more bitter than sweet.

We had moved from Ohio- a neighborhood I loved, with kids I adored, and a school that I loved.  I was in high school when we moved, and I never really was on the right social footing ever again.

Even worse, we moved from Ohio - a beautiful state with wide open sky, farms surrounding our neighborhood, and friendly people, to Northern Virginia.  A harried, fast-paced, stuffed full of people suburb of Washington D.C..

I do remember fondly when my favorite Aunt, Rosie, came out to visit us.  She and Aunt Marion went walking one afternoon and got lost.  They had no idea where they were, and ended up at the police station looking for directions to get back to the house.  As I was walking up to the house just after I got off the bus, a police car pulled up in front of the house, and he opened the back door, letting both of my aunts out.  Once I found out what had happened, Aunt Rosie started laughing because the policeman wouldn't even give them an ice cream cone to comfort them after getting lost!

I remember bringing my boyfriend (now my husband) for the very first time.

And I remember how beautiful that house was when we bought it.  The previous owner was a Master Gardener, and she volunteered in the gardens at Mount Vernon.  The yard was beautifully landscaped, and she had many things in the yard that had come from cuttings at Mount Vernon.

I also remember sitting on the stairs, listening to my parents argue incessantly.

I remember the night my father told my mother "I never have loved you.  I married you because I felt sorry for you."

And I remember watching him pack up all of his belongings into the back of his car and leaving that house, never looking back.

Not among my fondest memories.

I remember being accused of horrific things by my mother in the months after my father left- from spying on her for my dad to stealing things for my dad, to stealing the car after school.

I remember the afternoon I came home early from school and found her with a bottle of alcohol and a half- empty bottle of sleeping pills.

I have watched over the last 27 years as she has slowly destroyed every last vestige of my father.
I would come home and find out that she had ripped out more of the beautiful landscaping or bushes that the previous owner had put into the house for some random reason ranging from "Your father loved those bushes" to "I never did like the way that looked".

Over the last 30 years, I have watched the house deteriorate as she refused to take care of it.  I replaced the roof on that house not once, but twice.  I bought new screen doors for the front and side door, and my former brother in law bought and installed new doors for the front and side doors. 

I remember the palpable sense of despair that filled that house after my Dad left, and I don't think that it has ever really lifted since then. 

I'm not terribly sad to say good bye to that particular house. 

I hope my Mom, at the tender age of 83, sees this as an opportunity for a new beginning!  I know I'm looking forward to the new memories we have yet to make!