A not so hypothetical question for the parents and want to be parents out there:
Your teenage daughter/son comes home and tells you that they have found out they are going to have a baby.
What is going to be your response? How are you going to handle this?
No, none of my children are in this situation. I ask because I hear of this situation a lot. Obviously, at this point it's too late to have "the talk" about protection and prevention. What, as a parent, are you going to do? Your child is terrified, and they are going to look to you for guidance.
Nobody wants to think about this situation, but it happens. Even with the easy availability of birth control. Many parents shirk the sex talk with their children. Whether you have a boy or a girl, the act of having sex can cause the formation of a new human. I've had very frank discussions with my children about sex and birth control from the time they began middle school. Sadly, kids can and do get pregnant early. As soon as girls begin menstruating, they can get pregnant. And the onset of menses is getting younger and younger. Our middle school has at least one pregnancy each year in the student body. If you talk to the shell shocked parents, they'll blankly look at you and say "I never thought they even knew how to do that. I never even thought it was possible to get pregnant that young. I thought we didn't need to have that talk until they were 16."
Here are several real life actions by parents that I personally know. Agree or disagree with them as you will....
1) At the age of 16, L. and her boyfriend found out that she was pregnant. They approached their parents. Her parents promptly told her that she was going to finish high school, and go to college. They would do whatever it took - as a family - to raise that little baby so that she and her boyfriend could get an education. His parents agreed. After much discussion, the young couple got married and moved into her parents house. In home childcare was provided by both sets of grandparents while L and her boyfriend finished high school. A young set of adoring aunts and uncles helped constantly. The grandparents all chipped in for preschool so that L. and her boyfriend could go to college and not worry about childcare. Both graduated from college in 5 years - and co-oped during that time. They parted ways very amicably a few years later. Both are very successful professionals now, over 20 years later. Their daughter recently graduated from college.
2) A. found out she was pregnant at 19. When her boyfriend found out, he left her and never looked back. His parents told her that "anyone could be the father", and refused to submit to a DNA test. A. told her parents that she was pregnant, and they promptly threw their pregnant daughter out of the house. She worked at Wal-Mart full time, but as anyone knows, Wal-Mart wages barely cover living expenses. With no place to go, she ended up in a shelter. She carried the baby to term, and is attempting to make ends meet and raise the baby while working at Wal-Mart. She's been on the list for subsidized housing for almost a year. In the meantime, she and her baby have continued to live in the shelter. Her parents, who are local, refuse to acknowledge her or their granddaughter. A family friend recently took in A. and the baby. The parents now refuse to speak to the family friend, telling her that she is enabling the daughter's bad decisions.
3) C. and J. found out that they were expecting a baby at the age of 20. They were Juniors in college at the time. The parents on both sides got together and insisted that they finish their college education, and provided financial support to them both until they finished. C's father told her at the time, "If I don't support you now, the system will be supporting you for the rest of your lives." Both C. and J. continued to co-op through college - alternating one semester of real world work with one semester of college work. The grandparents paid for child care for their grandchild for the duration of their kids' college degrees. C and J finished college 2 years later. That beautiful baby graduated with her PhD not too long ago, and her parents are still very happily married.
4) K's family had recently moved to a small town in the middle of nowhere when she was 15. Months after the move, she told her parents that she was pregnant. Her parents promptly threw her out on the street. She moved to a warmer climate, and with no way to support herself, she turned to prostitution. The state took her baby away from her months after she was born. K. died months later when a client killed her. (K. was my friend freshman year of high school. I remember the day her family moved, and I was devastated when I found how she had died. It still bothers me, and it's been over 30 years.)
So, what would you do if your child came to you and told you that they were about to become a parent? How would you react?
More importantly, have you had quiet, calm discussions with your teenagers about sex, love, and birth control? Have you discussed your values and expectations with them? Are you the first voice your child will hear about morals and values? Your kids really do want to hear what you have to say - if you can say it in a non-judgemental, loving way.
Work at keeping those lines of communication open. You need them during the teenage years more than any other time of their lives. Listen to what they have to say, consider it, and answer them respectfully. It's hard. Very hard. I won't lie. BUT, it is crucial that these lines be open through their teenage years. So much happens during middle school and high school. I have always been grateful that our kids will talk with us about anything. I still get a little thrill when I hear the words "Mom, I need to talk with you, and I need your opinion."
That's when I'll take that child, we'll go get an ice cream cone, or a snow cone, or a coffee, and we'll sit in the car where nobody else can hear us and talk through their problem.
It's been 2 weeks since my last deep conversation with one of the kids. So thankful he thinks enough of me that he wanted to have this discussion with me.
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 3, 2015
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
A Sobering Thought
I don't often get on my parental soap box, but I'm going to today.
There is a group of kids in our neighborhood who have been hoodlums for years.
We live in a fairly nice, middle class neighborhood. We are out in the far, far outer suburbs, in a mostly rural environment. Many of our neighbors commute into DC and Baltimore daily. One parent either stays home, works part time, out of the home, or works locally.
When we moved into the neighborhood, my son met this group and began hanging out with them. The behaviors I began to see out of him were inexcusable. There was one night when he decided he was going to stay out with his friends until midnight. At the tender age of 10. I went out and found him, and drug his sorry ass home. Yes, I embarrassed him in front of those kids, but I told him in no uncertain terms that we would not stand for this behavior. I was a parent, he hated me for it, and I had to suck it up and deal with it.
In order to keep him away from that group of kids, we got all three of the kids involved in as many things as we could. Boy Scouts, Soccer, FIRST Robotics, a Christian Drama Troupe, and the Improv Club. We then promptly demanded that he kept his grades at an A/B level in order to continue to participate. (He did make C's, but if he had an A to balance the C, we let it go.)
In the meantime, we dealt with vandalism from that group of kids because I wasn't being fair to middle child. We had them knocking on our doors at midnight, asking if he could come out and play. Our next door neighbor set his dogs on them a couple of times when he saw them prowling around our property in the middle of the night.
I even had one of the parents tell me that I needed to "loosen up and let kids be kids". He went so far as to ask if I "had a stick up my ass, or has it been too long since your husband has done his duty?" Lovely. What a great parent.
Anyway, time passed, middle child lost all interest in that group, and found a social group at school that was totally separate from anyone in our neighborhood. I no longer had to forbid contact with them as he had no interest in them.
That back corner of the neighborhood has had 4 families move out over the last 8 years, specifically to get their kids away from that influence.
Over the last 8 years, I've watched, appalled, the progression of things from that corner of the neighborhood.
When I go walk back there, there is usually a visible haze of smoke that smells like marijuana. I've heard rumors of that group selling drugs, doing drugs, and having wild sex. One of the boys, at the tender age of 16, has just found out that he is going to be a father in a couple of months.
All of the kids at school talk about how those kids disrespect the teachers, lie to their parents, and have had multiple suspensions.
The worst of the lot is the 16 year old I mentioned earlier. He's in the same grade as my daughter.
He's been suspended multiple times. He comes to school high. He roams the neighborhood at all hours of the day and night. He's going to be a dad. He's physically threatened the teachers, and attacked other students at school.
He was arrested earlier this week for robbing a gas station.
The police executed a search warrant at the house, and they found drugs, the weapon, and other items.
I am speechless.
While I always knew this kid was going to come to some bad end, I certainly never expected this to be it. I expected him to OD.
The ironic thing is, the father of this kid is the same one who told me that I needed to "loosen up and let kids be kids".
You know, when you make the decision to be a parent and not a friend, you make a difficult choice.
Life is not easy. You make unpopular decisions. Your kids will hate you at the time. You have to stick by your decisions. I have always explained why to my kids, giving them the reasoning behind my decisions. I will not change my mind, but I wanted them to understand why I felt the way I felt.
It was a tough couple of years. Over those tough years, when middle child would tell me he hated me, I'd respond "I love you. And I love you enough to want the best for you. You don't need to love me, but I expect you to respect me and your dad. In return, we will respect you. This respect includes looking out for you and the choices that you make."
I spent a lot of time praying for the strength to stick to my decisions.
I spent a lot of time praying for the wisdom to make decisions that were in the best interest of my children.
I spent a lot of time praying for strength for my children to avoid the temptation of drugs and alcohol that was so easily available.
Thankfully, the kids survived middle school. Two of them have made it safely through high school, and the last one has made it through two and a half years. I believe they have all made good decisions, and know how to resist the temptations of the fast life.
I still keep praying for them, to have the strength to avoid the temptations of drugs and alcohol.
Being a parent is never easy. It is hard. The middle school and teenage years are very, very hard to navigate as a parent.
One thing is certain, though. I don't need to be my kid's friend. They have friends. I need to be their parent. I need to set limits. I need to stick by those limits, and I need to hand out punishments when the rules are broken. I have my own friends. We stuck by each other like glue, meeting for coffee to discuss our latest challenges and giving each other the needed encouragement to hold steady through thick and thicker.
Yes, the kids will complain.
But, if I'm not spending their college money, and taking out a second mortgage on the house in order to pay for a lawyer to get them out of trouble? Then every last minute of being a parent was worth it.
What's the word? Priceless.
There is a group of kids in our neighborhood who have been hoodlums for years.
We live in a fairly nice, middle class neighborhood. We are out in the far, far outer suburbs, in a mostly rural environment. Many of our neighbors commute into DC and Baltimore daily. One parent either stays home, works part time, out of the home, or works locally.
When we moved into the neighborhood, my son met this group and began hanging out with them. The behaviors I began to see out of him were inexcusable. There was one night when he decided he was going to stay out with his friends until midnight. At the tender age of 10. I went out and found him, and drug his sorry ass home. Yes, I embarrassed him in front of those kids, but I told him in no uncertain terms that we would not stand for this behavior. I was a parent, he hated me for it, and I had to suck it up and deal with it.
In order to keep him away from that group of kids, we got all three of the kids involved in as many things as we could. Boy Scouts, Soccer, FIRST Robotics, a Christian Drama Troupe, and the Improv Club. We then promptly demanded that he kept his grades at an A/B level in order to continue to participate. (He did make C's, but if he had an A to balance the C, we let it go.)
In the meantime, we dealt with vandalism from that group of kids because I wasn't being fair to middle child. We had them knocking on our doors at midnight, asking if he could come out and play. Our next door neighbor set his dogs on them a couple of times when he saw them prowling around our property in the middle of the night.
I even had one of the parents tell me that I needed to "loosen up and let kids be kids". He went so far as to ask if I "had a stick up my ass, or has it been too long since your husband has done his duty?" Lovely. What a great parent.
Anyway, time passed, middle child lost all interest in that group, and found a social group at school that was totally separate from anyone in our neighborhood. I no longer had to forbid contact with them as he had no interest in them.
That back corner of the neighborhood has had 4 families move out over the last 8 years, specifically to get their kids away from that influence.
Over the last 8 years, I've watched, appalled, the progression of things from that corner of the neighborhood.
When I go walk back there, there is usually a visible haze of smoke that smells like marijuana. I've heard rumors of that group selling drugs, doing drugs, and having wild sex. One of the boys, at the tender age of 16, has just found out that he is going to be a father in a couple of months.
All of the kids at school talk about how those kids disrespect the teachers, lie to their parents, and have had multiple suspensions.
The worst of the lot is the 16 year old I mentioned earlier. He's in the same grade as my daughter.
He's been suspended multiple times. He comes to school high. He roams the neighborhood at all hours of the day and night. He's going to be a dad. He's physically threatened the teachers, and attacked other students at school.
He was arrested earlier this week for robbing a gas station.
The police executed a search warrant at the house, and they found drugs, the weapon, and other items.
I am speechless.
While I always knew this kid was going to come to some bad end, I certainly never expected this to be it. I expected him to OD.
The ironic thing is, the father of this kid is the same one who told me that I needed to "loosen up and let kids be kids".
You know, when you make the decision to be a parent and not a friend, you make a difficult choice.
Life is not easy. You make unpopular decisions. Your kids will hate you at the time. You have to stick by your decisions. I have always explained why to my kids, giving them the reasoning behind my decisions. I will not change my mind, but I wanted them to understand why I felt the way I felt.
It was a tough couple of years. Over those tough years, when middle child would tell me he hated me, I'd respond "I love you. And I love you enough to want the best for you. You don't need to love me, but I expect you to respect me and your dad. In return, we will respect you. This respect includes looking out for you and the choices that you make."
I spent a lot of time praying for the strength to stick to my decisions.
I spent a lot of time praying for the wisdom to make decisions that were in the best interest of my children.
I spent a lot of time praying for strength for my children to avoid the temptation of drugs and alcohol that was so easily available.
Thankfully, the kids survived middle school. Two of them have made it safely through high school, and the last one has made it through two and a half years. I believe they have all made good decisions, and know how to resist the temptations of the fast life.
I still keep praying for them, to have the strength to avoid the temptations of drugs and alcohol.
Being a parent is never easy. It is hard. The middle school and teenage years are very, very hard to navigate as a parent.
One thing is certain, though. I don't need to be my kid's friend. They have friends. I need to be their parent. I need to set limits. I need to stick by those limits, and I need to hand out punishments when the rules are broken. I have my own friends. We stuck by each other like glue, meeting for coffee to discuss our latest challenges and giving each other the needed encouragement to hold steady through thick and thicker.
Yes, the kids will complain.
But, if I'm not spending their college money, and taking out a second mortgage on the house in order to pay for a lawyer to get them out of trouble? Then every last minute of being a parent was worth it.
What's the word? Priceless.
Saturday, October 19, 2013
College Visits
When I was looking at colleges, my parents refused to take me out to tour the colleges until after I had accepted the offer of admission to a school. To this day, I still think that if I had been allowed to visit the campuses of both schools I was interested in, I would have chosen to go to the OTHER school, and not the one I went to. The other school was smaller, closer to home, and also had a beautiful campus, but it was a very different atmosphere than the school that I went to.
So, with our kids, we have toured every college campus of every school they were interested in during the course of the Junior year of high school, and the summer between Junior and Senior years.
Over three children, we've now visited 10 campuses.
It's funny, because with some of the schools the kids were looking at, I was totally opposed to the school going in, but was charmed enough by the admissions program and seeing the campus and talking to the professors that I was willing to consider the schools as excellent matches for my kids. Other campuses, I went in thinking they'd be okay, and walked away vehemently opposed to the school for some reason or another.
Many of the schools now include lunch as part of their tour. So, after you walk around campus, you get to eat in one of the dining halls. It's a great opportunity to sample to food, and check to make certain that the food is edible, and that dietary choices are offered. (A very important thing for vegetarians and those of certain religious beliefs.) Believe it or not, that dining room visit can make our break a college in the minds of the kids. Considering that they are going to be eating there every day for at least a year, I do think that knowing what the food is like in the dining hall is crucial.
We had the day off of school yesterday, so we went to visit another school on daughter's list. I went into the school with an open mind. After visiting it, I can honestly say I don't hate the school, but I don't think it's a good match for my daughter. I didn't say anything during the tour, but I was relieved when we got into the car and she told me she didn't like the school.
We've had some interesting highlights over the years on our school visits:
1) A tour guide at one college was called "Girl on Fire" by the admissions staff. One of the parents asked "Why do they call you that? Are you on the track team?"
"No", she admitted. "When you become a student tour guide, you get these really nice fleece jackets. I like mine a lot and wear it a lot. I'm also on the swim team. So, I got done with practice, took a shower, and put my fleece on to go back to my dorm room. When I got back to my room, my friends wanted to go to the dining hall to get dinner. So, I tossed my fleece into the microwave to dry it off. Who knew that the fleece would catch fire in the microwave??"
2) A mother and son were walking behind us on a campus tour when the tour guide mentioned that the school had a planetarium, and that on Friday nights after the planetarium show, the staff would open up the telescope on the roof and let people look through it.
"Justin would love this place." Said the mother.
"Well then, keep it in mind when Justin looks for schools" said the son.
"No, I really mean Justin would love it here! The planetarium, the telescope..."
At this point, the son starts screaming.. "Then bring JUSTIN here when he's looking for schools! Right now, I'M looking for schools!"
(Okay, that one was a very awkward moment, and a lesson for all of us parents on what to do and not to do when looking at colleges!)
3) A group of students joined in with our tour group and was walking along with us while the guide was telling us about the wonders of the campus. The kids start talking in low voices amongst themselves:
"Hey, this campus is pretty nice."
"Yeah, I hear they've got a really nice student body."
"Good school, great sports teams..."
"But there is that cocaine problem..."
I did turn around at that one, started laughing at the kids in our group, and thanked them. They all sheepishly grinned and left our tour group. I know there are drugs everywhere, and I don't think the drug problem on that campus is any different than the drug problem on any other campus. What I really appreciated was the effort it took to add some levity into a tour that was growing pretty old by that point in time!
4) Oh hey... Penn State has ice cream from their creamery. You don't get it on the tour, but the tour does end fairly close to the ice cream place.
University of Maryland ends their tours in the same building as their creamery, and they aren't shy about pointing out that they have the best ice cream anywhere.
5) Jim Henson (creator of the Muppets) went to the University of Maryland. The character of Miss Piggy was based upon a girl he went out with in college. Not only is he immortalized on campus with a bronze statue of him and Kermit, but somewhere, in one of the dorms, the person who inspired Miss Piggy is also immortalized...
We've got 4 more schools on daughter's list to visit. We're hitting up three of them over her spring break.
And then? Oldest son is looking at Grad. Schools, and he is compiling a list for us to visit over his break this spring... I've more than made up for the schools that I didn't get to visit when I was in high school!
So, with our kids, we have toured every college campus of every school they were interested in during the course of the Junior year of high school, and the summer between Junior and Senior years.
Over three children, we've now visited 10 campuses.
It's funny, because with some of the schools the kids were looking at, I was totally opposed to the school going in, but was charmed enough by the admissions program and seeing the campus and talking to the professors that I was willing to consider the schools as excellent matches for my kids. Other campuses, I went in thinking they'd be okay, and walked away vehemently opposed to the school for some reason or another.
Many of the schools now include lunch as part of their tour. So, after you walk around campus, you get to eat in one of the dining halls. It's a great opportunity to sample to food, and check to make certain that the food is edible, and that dietary choices are offered. (A very important thing for vegetarians and those of certain religious beliefs.) Believe it or not, that dining room visit can make our break a college in the minds of the kids. Considering that they are going to be eating there every day for at least a year, I do think that knowing what the food is like in the dining hall is crucial.
We had the day off of school yesterday, so we went to visit another school on daughter's list. I went into the school with an open mind. After visiting it, I can honestly say I don't hate the school, but I don't think it's a good match for my daughter. I didn't say anything during the tour, but I was relieved when we got into the car and she told me she didn't like the school.
We've had some interesting highlights over the years on our school visits:
1) A tour guide at one college was called "Girl on Fire" by the admissions staff. One of the parents asked "Why do they call you that? Are you on the track team?"
"No", she admitted. "When you become a student tour guide, you get these really nice fleece jackets. I like mine a lot and wear it a lot. I'm also on the swim team. So, I got done with practice, took a shower, and put my fleece on to go back to my dorm room. When I got back to my room, my friends wanted to go to the dining hall to get dinner. So, I tossed my fleece into the microwave to dry it off. Who knew that the fleece would catch fire in the microwave??"
2) A mother and son were walking behind us on a campus tour when the tour guide mentioned that the school had a planetarium, and that on Friday nights after the planetarium show, the staff would open up the telescope on the roof and let people look through it.
"Justin would love this place." Said the mother.
"Well then, keep it in mind when Justin looks for schools" said the son.
"No, I really mean Justin would love it here! The planetarium, the telescope..."
At this point, the son starts screaming.. "Then bring JUSTIN here when he's looking for schools! Right now, I'M looking for schools!"
(Okay, that one was a very awkward moment, and a lesson for all of us parents on what to do and not to do when looking at colleges!)
3) A group of students joined in with our tour group and was walking along with us while the guide was telling us about the wonders of the campus. The kids start talking in low voices amongst themselves:
"Hey, this campus is pretty nice."
"Yeah, I hear they've got a really nice student body."
"Good school, great sports teams..."
"But there is that cocaine problem..."
I did turn around at that one, started laughing at the kids in our group, and thanked them. They all sheepishly grinned and left our tour group. I know there are drugs everywhere, and I don't think the drug problem on that campus is any different than the drug problem on any other campus. What I really appreciated was the effort it took to add some levity into a tour that was growing pretty old by that point in time!
4) Oh hey... Penn State has ice cream from their creamery. You don't get it on the tour, but the tour does end fairly close to the ice cream place.
University of Maryland ends their tours in the same building as their creamery, and they aren't shy about pointing out that they have the best ice cream anywhere.
5) Jim Henson (creator of the Muppets) went to the University of Maryland. The character of Miss Piggy was based upon a girl he went out with in college. Not only is he immortalized on campus with a bronze statue of him and Kermit, but somewhere, in one of the dorms, the person who inspired Miss Piggy is also immortalized...
We've got 4 more schools on daughter's list to visit. We're hitting up three of them over her spring break.
And then? Oldest son is looking at Grad. Schools, and he is compiling a list for us to visit over his break this spring... I've more than made up for the schools that I didn't get to visit when I was in high school!
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
ON Being a Cookie Mom
I've been a Girl Scout Cookie mom on and off over the last ten years.
Ten years ago, I was a new arrival in this town, and I had been talked into the job of cookie mom by my daughter's girl scout leader. I didn't know many people here, but I did think this would be a great way to meet some new people.
I wasn't really sure what the job entailed, but I was reassured that I would be able to attend training for new cookie moms.
When I showed up at the training session, all of the seats were taken. I found a spot on the floor, pulled out a notebook and began taking notes.
Ten minutes into the meeting, I felt a little tickle on my foot and looked down to see that a mouse had climbed up onto my shoe and had his front paws on my knee. He was looking up at me with very bright, curious eyes.
The next thing I knew, I was being helped down off the top of the table.
I'm not sure whatever happened to the mouse, but thanks to that mouse, I did meet many new people that night!
Ten years ago, I was a new arrival in this town, and I had been talked into the job of cookie mom by my daughter's girl scout leader. I didn't know many people here, but I did think this would be a great way to meet some new people.
I wasn't really sure what the job entailed, but I was reassured that I would be able to attend training for new cookie moms.
When I showed up at the training session, all of the seats were taken. I found a spot on the floor, pulled out a notebook and began taking notes.
Ten minutes into the meeting, I felt a little tickle on my foot and looked down to see that a mouse had climbed up onto my shoe and had his front paws on my knee. He was looking up at me with very bright, curious eyes.
The next thing I knew, I was being helped down off the top of the table.
I'm not sure whatever happened to the mouse, but thanks to that mouse, I did meet many new people that night!
Saturday, September 7, 2013
Girl Scouts
I've been a Girl Scout leader for several years now. I took over when our old troop leader said that she didn't want to do it anymore, and refused to sign the paperwork to be a leader for another year. It looked as if our troop was going to fold, so I agreed to become the leader.
Over the years, the troop has gone from being led by one person to more of a co-op arrangement. All of the parents have signed on as Assistant Leaders, and we all take responsibility for leading meetings and getting things accomplished.
As the girls grew into high school, the challenge of being leaders has been easier than we expected. High school is the age of girl led programming. In short, the girls take over the meetings. They decide what they want to do next, and our job is to help them find the resources to reach their goals.
It's been wonderful watching them grow, and take on responsibilities and reach their goals.
When we started our Bronze Award, it was a project initiated by our then-leader. The girls initiated a wonderful project, and earned their Bronze Award. They were in 6th grade, and they were unstoppable.
Predictably, we lost a few girls through middle school. The programming changed, and even worse, the grade levels changed. Our girls were caught in the middle of the transition. They became Cadettes at the end of their 6th grade year, and that was when the new age guidelines were handed down from national. Previously, Cadettes were in 7th, 8th, and 9th grades. Now, they were to be in 6th, 7th, and 8th grades. This presented a huge challenge for us. Two years to complete the requirements for the Silver Award, find a project, and complete said project.
We all quailed at the prospect. We went to the first Silver Award meeting we could find held by our council, and I was almost in tears. Since that time, Girl Scouts has changed the Silver Award requirement to the completion of a Journey. At that time, there was a long list of badges, experiences, leadership demands, and community service requirements to be met.
I still remember that meeting with the parents and the girls as we looked at the requirements. The girls were amazing. "We are going to do this." They said. "Nothing will stop us."
It was at this point that we became a co-op troop. Each parent took a requirement, and agreed to research it. We as parents then sat down and figured out the mechanics of the requirement, and the parent who researched that requirement was the one who presented it to the girls, arranged the trips, and followed it through to it's conclusion.
Once we finished the requirements, we had the girls sit down and research possibilities for projects. They presented their ideas, voted on suggestions, and chose Project Linus. Much as the parents had done, assigning roles to meet the badge qualifications, the girls sat down and divided up the responsibilities for funding, researching, etc.
To this day, I am still confounded by the fact that it took us less than a year to finish this. I won't go into all of the details here, but I will say that the girls completed 80 blankets for Project Linus. They even learned how to sew in the process - a skill that is no longer taught in the public schools!
They bridged on to Seniors, and began their Senior Journey. We finished that two years ago, and the girls began to look for Gold Award projects. Keep in mind, Gold Award projects are individual projects, and they must have a long lasting impact on the community. Projects must be found, and project proposals submitted to council and approved by council before work can begin on them.
Now, fast forward to this past summer. We still have 5 girls in our troop. They are in 11th grade.
All 5 have submitted proposals and had them approved by council.
The first project went off without a hitch in late July.
Today is the second project.
Believe it or not, we have at least one, if not two, projects scheduled to happen every month from now until December.
What continues to amaze me most of all is that these girls are all in High School. They are all in 11th grade. And they all choose to remain in Girl Scouting. Even with the commitments to sports, band, drama, friends, and school work, these girls are still involved in Girl Scouting. They are all honor roll students. To me, this is unbelievable. When I took over this troop, I honestly never expected it to last more than a year. And here we are, years later. Unbelievable.
I am so very, very proud of all of these girls. They are AMAZING!!!
And the other parents in this troop who have stepped up and helped to keep our troop running and help the girls achieve their dreams? They've done it all while balancing careers, other commitments, other children, cancer treatments, health problems, and the sickness of their own parents?
They are PHENOMENAL.
None of this could have happened without the combined efforts of us all.
It really does take a village.
Over the years, the troop has gone from being led by one person to more of a co-op arrangement. All of the parents have signed on as Assistant Leaders, and we all take responsibility for leading meetings and getting things accomplished.
As the girls grew into high school, the challenge of being leaders has been easier than we expected. High school is the age of girl led programming. In short, the girls take over the meetings. They decide what they want to do next, and our job is to help them find the resources to reach their goals.
It's been wonderful watching them grow, and take on responsibilities and reach their goals.
When we started our Bronze Award, it was a project initiated by our then-leader. The girls initiated a wonderful project, and earned their Bronze Award. They were in 6th grade, and they were unstoppable.
Predictably, we lost a few girls through middle school. The programming changed, and even worse, the grade levels changed. Our girls were caught in the middle of the transition. They became Cadettes at the end of their 6th grade year, and that was when the new age guidelines were handed down from national. Previously, Cadettes were in 7th, 8th, and 9th grades. Now, they were to be in 6th, 7th, and 8th grades. This presented a huge challenge for us. Two years to complete the requirements for the Silver Award, find a project, and complete said project.
We all quailed at the prospect. We went to the first Silver Award meeting we could find held by our council, and I was almost in tears. Since that time, Girl Scouts has changed the Silver Award requirement to the completion of a Journey. At that time, there was a long list of badges, experiences, leadership demands, and community service requirements to be met.
I still remember that meeting with the parents and the girls as we looked at the requirements. The girls were amazing. "We are going to do this." They said. "Nothing will stop us."
It was at this point that we became a co-op troop. Each parent took a requirement, and agreed to research it. We as parents then sat down and figured out the mechanics of the requirement, and the parent who researched that requirement was the one who presented it to the girls, arranged the trips, and followed it through to it's conclusion.
Once we finished the requirements, we had the girls sit down and research possibilities for projects. They presented their ideas, voted on suggestions, and chose Project Linus. Much as the parents had done, assigning roles to meet the badge qualifications, the girls sat down and divided up the responsibilities for funding, researching, etc.
To this day, I am still confounded by the fact that it took us less than a year to finish this. I won't go into all of the details here, but I will say that the girls completed 80 blankets for Project Linus. They even learned how to sew in the process - a skill that is no longer taught in the public schools!
They bridged on to Seniors, and began their Senior Journey. We finished that two years ago, and the girls began to look for Gold Award projects. Keep in mind, Gold Award projects are individual projects, and they must have a long lasting impact on the community. Projects must be found, and project proposals submitted to council and approved by council before work can begin on them.
Now, fast forward to this past summer. We still have 5 girls in our troop. They are in 11th grade.
All 5 have submitted proposals and had them approved by council.
The first project went off without a hitch in late July.
Today is the second project.
Believe it or not, we have at least one, if not two, projects scheduled to happen every month from now until December.
What continues to amaze me most of all is that these girls are all in High School. They are all in 11th grade. And they all choose to remain in Girl Scouting. Even with the commitments to sports, band, drama, friends, and school work, these girls are still involved in Girl Scouting. They are all honor roll students. To me, this is unbelievable. When I took over this troop, I honestly never expected it to last more than a year. And here we are, years later. Unbelievable.
I am so very, very proud of all of these girls. They are AMAZING!!!
And the other parents in this troop who have stepped up and helped to keep our troop running and help the girls achieve their dreams? They've done it all while balancing careers, other commitments, other children, cancer treatments, health problems, and the sickness of their own parents?
They are PHENOMENAL.
None of this could have happened without the combined efforts of us all.
It really does take a village.
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