Things Overheard While Shopping

My own kids are now grown, so shopping is a mostly pleasant experience.  I say mostly, because I still have to PAY at the end of the trip.  That's not always quite so pleasant.  Gone are the days when the kids fought their way through the aisles, when I'd end up finding an associate, handing them my cart, telling them my name and asking them to put it somewhere for me until later that day when I could come back without the kids, and then scurrying my screaming brats out to the car.

I thoroughly enjoy the comments that I hear from kids and parents as I roam the aisles of Target, and have almost laughed out loud at some of the comments.

Here's a sampling of just a few I've heard over the past few weeks:

"Mom, Jamie hit me!"
"Jamie, did you hit your brother?"
"Ummmm..."
"Did you hit your brother?"
"It all happened so fast...."


"Dad, Mike called me an idiot"
Sotto voce, from the person in the aisle next to me: "If the shoe fits...."


At the Starbucks counter:

I need to speak to a manager. My drink doesn't sparkle. 

(Question here: how do you get a Frappucino to "sparkle"?)

And one jokester at the gym:  I'd like to complain, I've been a member here for 6mo tha and I haven't list any weight yet. 

Sir, I can set you up with one of our trainers & they can go over your workout plan with you. 

What??? I have to work out, too?  Next thing you know, you'll tell me I have to watch what I eat!