Yes, I have been subject to unspeakable horrors! This is Luna, the cat, and I have been subjected to the VET!
Yesterday, the humans... I hesitate to even call the one who feeds us and gives us water "MOM" did the worst thing, ever.
She gave me and Tiger treats, and then cooed to us while stroking our fur. She then put us into our horrid boxes...with lids.
Tiger just sits in his box. He is resigned to his fate. He's older too, 11 years old, and I think he's just lost his sparkle and his spunk.
"MOM" put me in my box and put me in the car. She then went back in to get Tiger's box. Silly mistake on her part. I managed to pop the lid open on my box and was halfway out before she got back out to the car. "MOM" shoved me back down into the box, and then she tied the lid closed!!! Can you believe it? She used a shoelace to tie the lid closed, and then she dangled the shoelace inside of the box for me, as if that would distract me from my horrible fate.
I wasn't sure where we were going until she pulled us out of the car. I could hear the dogs barking inside, and I could smell the stink of... of... of... the VET'S office.
"TRAITOR" I howled, but "MOM" just kept walking into the building, first bringing in me, and then Tiger.
When the Vet took us back into the office, I continued to howl "TRAITOR" the entire time. For some reason, she took Tiger out of his box first! Tiger sat there with a dignified stoicism, allowing the Vet to poke and prod at him. He hissed once or twice when the Vet went beyond the bounds of decency, but he was back in his box within 10 minutes.
I tell you, that cat is old, and he has lost his spunk.
When the Vet got to my box, I was determined to make this into an ordeal she wouldn't forget.
"And now, for the princess" she began.
My voice was a little hoarse from all of the howling I had done, so I decided to show her my nice, pointy fangs. Can you believe that she had the nerve to laugh at me?
And then, oh, I can't even begin to tell you what she did to me. She put a thermometer... no, no, I just can't say it.
She poked me. She checked me all over. She looked in my mouth. She looked in my ears. She wouldn't listen to me when I told her in no uncertain terms what I thought of her and her entire profession.
So, I got my revenge.
As soon as she released me and told "MOM" that I could go back in my box, I knew I had my opening. While that wimp, Tiger, had jumped immediately into his box and hunkered down in the back corner, I wanted to let her know in no uncertain terms what I thought of her.
So, when "MOM" turned around to pick my box up off of the floor, I did a quick squat and peed all over the exam table.
HAH!! I have now claimed that table to be mine!!!
 |
| Tiger outside, Luna inside. |
And then, while I was daintily walking back into my box, the Vet just kept laughing. She couldn't stop. As we were walking out of the room, she was spraying down my wonderful scent with some noxious potion that was labeled "B-L-E-A-C-H".
The indignity of it all.
I punished my humans by hiding under the bed all afternoon. I even turned up my nose at my favorite bedtime treat. (Don't tell MOM, but I ate it as soon as she turned out the lights and left the room. And then I ate Tiger's treat, too.)
Hardly the kind of day that a Princess likes or should be subjected to. Hmph.
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