Chief Security Officer's Report

 It's been an interesting time here in the Mid-Atlantic sector.  I am new to the post and have many things to relate in this, my first security report back to the Federation.

I have been playing with something called "yarn".  It's green and blue, and Mom is making it into a shrug.  Or so she says.  I think it is alive.  When she works on it, the yarn moves!  I do my best to kill it so it won't hurt her, but all I hear is "No Hobbes, don't do that!" and then she puts all of the yarn away, just killing my fun.

We had strangers come into the Station two weeks ago.  They removed a freezer from the basement.  Dad (the hairy human) said that they were from the electric company, and were going to remove an old appliance for us.  In exchange, they would give us money to get an old appliance off the grid.  (What is this "grid"?)  I subjected them to a thorough Screening before allowing them into the Station.  While I smelled many new and intriguing smells, none seemed threatening.  The strangers smiled at me and attempted to scratch my ears!  Can you believe the unmitigated gall of them!  I kept a close eye on them, watching their every move from the top of the stairs as well as from the top of the kitchen refrigerator.  As they were leaving the house, I gave them a final hiss to let them know that they were no longer welcome in the Station.  

 These "flowers" came into the house last week.  They smell very nice, but they don't taste all that great.  I ate one, but then the girl started yelling at me "No, Hobbes!  Don't eat that!  My BF gave them to me!  Stop it!"  She then pulled the "flowers" away from me.  After further investigation, I discovered that these flowers are called "Roses" and that the girl's special friend gave them to her. 

I keep hearing this word "NO".  I still don't know what it means, but I hear it a LOT.  I have been investigating it, and I have discovered that I hear it more when I do things that are really fun - like taking salmon off of a plate when somebody gets up from the table, pulling a wallet out of a purse, sitting on the kitchen counter and eating chicken off the cutting board, or untying shoelaces.  I really don't like this word.

Commander Luna is slowly getting adjusted to her new Command Position.  She doesn't respond to being called "Hey You", or even "Miss", but she does love to be called Commander.  I am having a hard time calling her Commander, but I am getting used to it.  She didn't care for me much at first, but she has accepted me.  We now touch noses, nuzzle against each other, play chase around the house, and every once in a while, we even play footsie.  I think I'm going to like this assignment. 

The humans in the house found a new and interesting way to torment the felines in the house.  This torture device houses food and treats.  Mom calls it a "stimulation" toy.  It's supposed to enrich our lives and keep us challenged and interested.  We were considering calling this cruel and unusual, but they are putting the really good chicken treats in here, so we are holding off on invoking the Geneva Catventions.

 

Lieutenant Hobbes
Chief Security Officer
Station #1
Mid-Atlantic Sector

Hobbes

I haven't written much about him lately, but he is thriving!  He's 10 months old now, and he's almost grown to his full size.  When we brought him home, his feet were so much bigger than the rest of him - and his legs were long and gangly.  Now, his body matches his legs and his feet!  He's a big, long, sleek and gorgeous cat.

But he's still very much a kitten.

He has a handful of catnip mice that are HIS.  Watch out Luna, he will fight you for those mice.  He plays with them, bats them around the house, and will play fetch with you for the mice.  It's great having a young cat!

The biggest problem we have with him is his appetite.  He eats EVERYTHING.  I can't put my cereal down on the table and go back to get something else.  If I do, I'll find him face down in my cereal, going at it like it's cat chow!

He also likes to drink water from our glasses.  I recently started using the narrow mouth mason jars as my drinking glasses to keep him from coming over, dunking his head in my glass and drinking my water.  I know, I know, it's cruel to only keep 4 bowls of water in the house for the cats.  1 in each bathroom, 1 in the bay window, and 1 in the kitchen.  He really should have one on the table.

Yesterday, I was eating my breakfast at the table, and I had my glass of water next to me.  Hobbes hopped up on the chair next to me, put his front paws on the table and leaned over towards my glass.  I began to reprimand him about his behavior, and started to reach over to push him off the table when he reached out with his lightning fast paw and *wham* down went my glass, and he hopped off the table to lick the water off of the floor.

Cats. 

The Kitten and The Quilt

Hobbes, relaxing on the couch.

I've been hand quilting daughter's quilt for a while now.  Hand quilting is time consuming, and I love having that warm fabric and cotton sandwich on my lap during the winter.  It serves the dual purpose of finishing a quilt and keeping me warm on chilly winter nights.  I have to admit, I was looking forward to working on that quilt all through the Olympics.

Last weekend, as I was quilting, I felt an unusual pulling at the bottom of the quilt. I looked down on the floor, and saw Hobbes peeking out from under the quilt.  I smiled at him, and then quickly began to panic as I realized that he had pulled off a significant chunk of cotton batting and was eating it.

The flight that ensued as I attempted to chase him down, prize open his mouth, and yank out the cotton can only be described as "Mad Panic".   It's not an experience I want to relive any time soon.

And so, the quilts - unfinished - have been put into a safe location for now.  I plan on taking the girl's quilt outside to quilt once the weather warms up enough for me to spend some time outside.  I can work on the quilt in peace while Hobbes is inside the house.

I'm not certain when, where, or how I'm going to finish off the edges of these quilts.  Quite honestly, I might be sewing outside on the carport this summer!

In the meantime, I will be kept on my toes, attempting to keep all of the choking hazards away from the very spoiled little kitten!