Chief Security Officer's Report

 It's been an interesting time here in the Mid-Atlantic sector.  I am new to the post and have many things to relate in this, my first security report back to the Federation.

I have been playing with something called "yarn".  It's green and blue, and Mom is making it into a shrug.  Or so she says.  I think it is alive.  When she works on it, the yarn moves!  I do my best to kill it so it won't hurt her, but all I hear is "No Hobbes, don't do that!" and then she puts all of the yarn away, just killing my fun.

We had strangers come into the Station two weeks ago.  They removed a freezer from the basement.  Dad (the hairy human) said that they were from the electric company, and were going to remove an old appliance for us.  In exchange, they would give us money to get an old appliance off the grid.  (What is this "grid"?)  I subjected them to a thorough Screening before allowing them into the Station.  While I smelled many new and intriguing smells, none seemed threatening.  The strangers smiled at me and attempted to scratch my ears!  Can you believe the unmitigated gall of them!  I kept a close eye on them, watching their every move from the top of the stairs as well as from the top of the kitchen refrigerator.  As they were leaving the house, I gave them a final hiss to let them know that they were no longer welcome in the Station.  

 These "flowers" came into the house last week.  They smell very nice, but they don't taste all that great.  I ate one, but then the girl started yelling at me "No, Hobbes!  Don't eat that!  My BF gave them to me!  Stop it!"  She then pulled the "flowers" away from me.  After further investigation, I discovered that these flowers are called "Roses" and that the girl's special friend gave them to her. 

I keep hearing this word "NO".  I still don't know what it means, but I hear it a LOT.  I have been investigating it, and I have discovered that I hear it more when I do things that are really fun - like taking salmon off of a plate when somebody gets up from the table, pulling a wallet out of a purse, sitting on the kitchen counter and eating chicken off the cutting board, or untying shoelaces.  I really don't like this word.

Commander Luna is slowly getting adjusted to her new Command Position.  She doesn't respond to being called "Hey You", or even "Miss", but she does love to be called Commander.  I am having a hard time calling her Commander, but I am getting used to it.  She didn't care for me much at first, but she has accepted me.  We now touch noses, nuzzle against each other, play chase around the house, and every once in a while, we even play footsie.  I think I'm going to like this assignment. 

The humans in the house found a new and interesting way to torment the felines in the house.  This torture device houses food and treats.  Mom calls it a "stimulation" toy.  It's supposed to enrich our lives and keep us challenged and interested.  We were considering calling this cruel and unusual, but they are putting the really good chicken treats in here, so we are holding off on invoking the Geneva Catventions.

 

Lieutenant Hobbes
Chief Security Officer
Station #1
Mid-Atlantic Sector

Squirrels

Maryland

I have a soft spot in my heart for these playful little rodents!  I've got several who live in my yard, and they play in the big Maple Tree next to my garage, torment my cats, and just recently began climbing on the window screens.  I'm pretty sure they're the cause of a lot of the leaf mess in my back yard.  But I really do enjoy watching them play!  Funny thing is, no matter where I travel, I see squirrels.  But, they are not the same color as the squirrels in Maryland. 

Weird right?

I've been taking pictures of them over the years.  In my quest to clean out my phone before I replace it, I've finally tracked down my "good" squirrel pictures.  You know, the pictures where the squirrels are actually visible and not a small dot or a smudge on the camera screen.

SO, here in Maryland, our squirrels are grey-brown.  More grey than brown.

And the ones in Colorado?  Reddish- Brown.

Colorado

The ones in Canada are the most striking of all.  They are a gorgeous, beautiful shiny black.

Let me be specific.  I found these beautiful guys around Niagara Falls and Ottawa.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Canada

So, what color are the squirrels in your neck of the woods?  Inquiring minds want to know!

Things Overheard

I know it's not polite to listen in on conversations of other people, but what the heck.  If I'm at the store or at work and someone says something loudly enough for me to hear, then I figure it's fair game.  If it's funny, then eventually it's going to be fodder for my Blog!


Listening

A teacher, with her group of students says "Friends, we need to talk about our word of the day.  Today's word is LISTENING."

"This is my personal hell." says a young child.  (My guess was age 10-11.)


Daddy's Birthday

A mom and her two young kids were looking for birthday presents for Daddy.

"Now remember, we want to get him things he really needs.  What's something you think Daddy really needs to have?"

Without missing a beat, the six year old replies: "Daddy needs muscles."

Cutting the Cord

Years ago (we're talking 1980's here) my Dad had an answering machine in his condo.  He would frequently get into arguments with his girlfriend, and then he would not answer his phone and would let the machine pick up instead.  (Let's call his girlfriend Lois.)

There was one argument in particular when he had refused to answer the phone for the better part of a week. 

Pissed beyond words that she had not been able to get ahold of him, she finally drove over to his condo on a Sunday afternoon.

She knocked on his door and yelled "I'm not going to stop knocking until you answer the door!"

When he finally answered the door, she pushed past him, went over to the answering machine, pulled scissors out of her back pocket, and cut all of the cords that attached the answering machine to the wall.

Without saying a word, she pushed past him, went back out to her car, drove back to her apartment, and then called him from there.

Ridiculous, I know.  But it still makes me smile when I remember the story!

A is for Manzana

One day while subbing for a Kindergarten Aide, we were in the middle of reading groups.  The teacher had a small group, I had a small group, there was a group on the floor listening to stories on tape, and one group with a mother who was going over letters and objects, and then saying the beginning sound.  She was pulling items out of a bag, saying the name of the item, and then they would all say the name of the object together. 

The mother who was working with that group was a native speaker of Spanish, and her lilting voice had me enchanted as I half listened to her group going through their bag of goodies:

C is for Car /c/
H is for Hat /h/
D is for Dog /d/


A is for Manzana ..... at this point, you heard the teacher yelling across the classroom: "WAIT!  Stop!"

The parent sat still for a minute and then started laughing as she realized her mistake, and then started speaking to the kids:  "Manzana is how you say Apple in Spanish."  Manzana - begins with an "M" /m/,  Apple begins with an "A", /a/.

I saw that parent in the grocery store yesterday.  Guess what she was buying?

Bucket List

So, this version of the Bucket List has been circulating around social media.  I thought I'd play along and share it on here - along with some explanations!  How about you?  Have you done many of these things?

Been Married X
26 years come July!

Fell in love X



Gone on a blind date 
I missed out on this particular experience.  

Skipped school X
As a teacher, and as a student both.  :)
Sometimes, you just need a day off.
 
Watched someone give birth 

Watched someone die X
I was there with my Dad.  Not a terrific experience, but to see peace come over him a few hours before he died, that was something incredible.

Been to Canada 
Stay tuned for this...

Been to Hawaii 

Been to Europe 

Been to Las Vegas 

Been to Washington D.C. X
Many, many times.  I went to high school just outside of DC, and up until a few years ago, I took the kids down at least once a year.

Been to Nashville X
Many, many years ago, I went with my Aunt and Uncle.  I was 8.  I enjoyed the entire experience.  I really want to go back again.  I'm certain things have changed in the 42 years since I've been there!

Visited Florida X
I went when I was in high school with the band.  And I went when I was in college with my singing group.  5 years ago, we went with our mostly grown kids.  It's an interesting experience!  I'm not a fan of the summer heat and humidity in Florida.  We've got heat and humidity in spades around here - and I'm not a fan of it.  It's even more humid and hot in Florida.

Visited Mexico 
Does a trip over the border when you're 5 count?

Seen the Grand Canyon in person 
Soon
 
Flown in a Helicopter 

Been on a cruise 
Hmmm.... A cruise like the Love Boat?  Where you vacation?  NO
A cruise like a scenic cruise past the Norfolk Naval Base?  YES
A cruise like a ferry ride?  YES

Served on a jury 

Been in a movie (music video) 

Been to Los Angeles X
My Dad took me out to Los Angeles after I graduated from high school in 1983.  Haven't been back since. 

Been to New York City X
I went for the first time for my 21st birthday.  I've been back once with each of the kids - the oldest on a band trip.  The middle one for his graduation trip.  The youngest one to look at colleges.

Played in a band (orchestra) X
High school band!  Who-Hoo!  I played flute, and I played bassoon.  I should have put more time and effort into both.  Who knows where I'd be now if I had?

Sang karaoke X
And I was sober each time I did it, too!  I'm really not a bad singer - so as long as I pick a song in my vocal range, all is good.  

Made prank phone calls X
You know, this might very well be a generational thing.  I don't think that this happens in the age of caller ID.  My generation might have been one of the last that will have done this.

Laughed so much you peed your pants X

Caught a snowflake on your tongue X
The first snowstorm of every year, I make a point of going out and catching snowflakes on my tongue.  I don't know why, but it seems like a good thing to do!

Had children X
Three of them!

Had a pet dog X
My husband is afraid of dogs, so we don't have any - but we had several when I was growing up: Orangie, a mixed breed mutt.  Top Hat, a purebred Pekinese that was practically given away since he was the runt of the litter.  Winnie, a Dachshund. Princess - a terrier mix of indeterminate origin that my Mom saved from being dumped on the highway.

Been sledding on big hill X
Virginia Tech Golf Course. 
The Hill by Lake Elkhorn in Columbia.  

Been downhill skiing X
One of the more embarrassing moments of my life.
I'm lucky I didn't break anything.

Been water skiing X
Another one of the most embarrassing moments of my life.
I spent an awful lot of time being pulled THROUGH the water face first.

Rode on a motorcycle X
Dad had a motorcycle for a few years.  I enjoyed our rides together!

Jumped out of a plane 

Been to a drive-in movie X
Another item that might very well be a generational thing.  The last time I went to a drive in was before we had kids.  I think husband and I need to try to track one down this summer.

Rode an elephant X
At the zoo, when I was a little girl.

Been on TV X
Recently, too.  As part of the school's robotics team triumphal win of a major award!

Been in newspaper X
Only for good things! Winning a volunteer award, speaking about my Girl Scouts, or about an outreach project at my church.

Stayed in Hospital X
When my kids were born.

Donated blood 

Gotten a piercing X
My ears are pierced!

Gotten a tattoo 

Driven a stick shift vehicle X
I learned how to drive in a stick shift, my first car was a stick, and our Accord was a stick.  

Driven over 100 mph


Been scuba diving 

Lived on your own X

Rode in the back of police car X
We'd been in an accident and our car was totaled.  The very nice officer drove us home in the back of his car.  It was a little weird when I realized there were no door handles in the back!  Not an experience I want to repeat, but so very glad the officer drove us home and we didn't have to wait for a taxi to come and find us in the middle of the night.

Got a speeding ticket 
*knock on wood* not yet. 

With a Chainsaw..

So this fun game appeared on my Facebook feed over the weekend.  I thought I'd share it here, and see what kind of responses we are getting.

From my feed:
The Empire of Tea: The Asian Leaf That Conquered The World With A Chainsaw

To Kill a Mockingbird With a Chainsaw

MedSurg Nursing With A Chainsaw

Creating a Successful Spirituality in Retirement With a Chainsaw


What titles can you add?

It's a Resource!

I spent a fun day subbing at one of my favorite schools this week.  I was subbing as a floater, so I got to roam in and out of classrooms all day long, supporting kids during the subjects where they struggle the most.

In the afternoon Math time, I was sent down to second grade, where I sat with my friend, T.  I've known T since kindergarten, and I adore this child.  He is smart, he is funny, he is witty.  Oh yeah, and he hates to write.

We were working through a worksheet he had, where he had to write out the number sentence and then solve the problem.  He knew the answers, and he would write the answers, but getting him to write the number sentence was a challenge. 

After much cajoling, we finally finished that paper, and then we looked at another paper.

I knew we were in trouble the moment I saw it.  It was a coloring page.  A math coloring page.  I'm sure you remember these.  The "picture" is divided into parts, and each part has an equation.  You have to solve the equation, and then match the answer to a color key located somewhere on the paper, and then color that part of the picture accordingly.

T hates, absolutely hates to color.  He stormed right through the page, and wrote down all of the answers right away.  But then, he got his stubborn on.  He had to color the sections of the picture.  His teacher was adamant about the pictures being colored in, and he was just as adamant that he was not going to do it.

I cajoled.

I begged. 

I promised a break down in the media center, where he could pick any book that he wanted.

I attempted to bribe him with a pencil.  Not just any pencil, a Halloween pencil.

Finally, a wicked grin spread across his face.

He pulled out his math folder.  ON the right side, the pocket was labeled "Work to be Finished".  The left pocket was labeled "Resources".  The resource side was filled with hundreds charts, a number line, and other nifty little Math resource papers.  He looked at me and declared "This is a resource.   Since this is a resource, I don't have to color it in.  I can come back and use it to help me solve other problems later on!"

He shoved the paper into the left pocket, and then looked triumphantly at me as his math group was called back to the table to work with his teacher.  Unfortunately, when he went back to his group, it was time for me to move on to another classroom.

Well played, T, well played.

Street View Map of the South Pole

No kidding.  This is a street view map of the South Pole.  THE south pole!

So amazingly cool!  If you get a chance, click through on the link and take a look around the Science Exploration Station at the South Pole.  If you're really hot today, looking at all that snow and ice might just cool you off by about 20* or so!

Enjoy!

http://maps.google.com/intl/en/help/maps/streetview/gallery.html#!/antarctica