I was having lunch with a friend yesterday, and we ended up discussing a rather disturbing trend we are noticing: parents who are abdicating their responsibility. These parents are not taking any ownership of their children, and then blame everyone else for their child's problems. Three main points stick with me from our discussion yesterday, and I'd like to share them. I'm hoping that what we were discussing is just a trend in our area, and not a national problem.
Our discussion began with a large problem:
Parents who expect the schools to teach their children morals and values.
Really?
I might send my children to public schools, but I will be the one to instill them with values. I don't always agree with the state approved set of morals and values.
I want my children to grow up to be responsible adults, who make good decisions, and take responsibility for their actions. I want my kids to learn to be self-sufficient, and I want them to be able to take care of themselves and their family (if they should ever have one.) I want them to have jobs, families, and responsibilities of their own.
I want them to fail, while they are still in high school, so that they can learn how to recover from that failure and succeed. And I want them to learn these lessons while they are in high school, so that they have the love and support of their family constantly surrounding them. I'm not going to tell the school "you have to pass my child". I'm going to ask my child "What do you need to do to recover from this? Let's make a plan. What can I do to help you reach those goals?" Failure is a part of life, like it or not, and they need to learn how to fail, and recover from that failure now, before a career is on the line.
Parents who expect the government to amuse their children.
My friend had heard this one on the radio, and she was appalled:
Dirt bikes are illegal on the streets of Washington D.C. The police were ticketing kids who were riding dirt bikes, and were arresting repeat offenders.
Parents were complaining that it was the fault of the police department that their kids were riding on the streets as "The police didn't give them a place to ride their dirt bikes."
Last time I checked, the job of the police is to enforce the laws. NOT to build amusement parks for your children.
In my day, our parents went out and petitioned the city council for land to build a skateboard park in our neighborhood. They then held fundraisers, solicited donations, and put in countless volunteer hours to put in a skateboard park for the teens, and then once it was built, they asked the police department to swing a patrol through the area every so often.
Just recently, on the other side of the county where I live, several residents felt there was a need for a bigger playground for the little kids near the skateboard park. They got together, petitioned the county for a donation of land, and solicited for funds and held fundraisers to build new playground equipment. Not a dime of the money for that playground equipment came from tax payer dollars, but kids come from all over the area to play. One local business recently donated a huge pergola and several benches for parents to sit on and supervise their children while they play. It's become quite a gathering spot for families.
They didn't ask the government to amuse their kids- they provided the muscle and innovation to provide for their children. They asked the government for the land. The parents did the rest.
Our discussion ended with a smaller problem:
Lack of Volunteerism.
This is an issue we are seeing more and more. Parents who want their children to have activities - robotics teams, scout troops, youth groups, swim teams, soccer teams, etc., but refuse to step up and offer their services to make these things happen for their kids.
I have a friend who is putting together soccer teams for a nearby county. He has 50 kids that have yet to be placed on a team. He asked the parents to step up. He needs a minimum of 4 parents - 2 for each of 2 teams. Not a one of them is willing to step up. The excuses range from "I'm busy" to "I don't have experience" to "I shouldn't have to coach, that's why I'm paying $30 for this team."
Hm. We have 3 children. There are exactly 4 years between the oldest and the youngest. Over the years, between the two of us, my husband and I have been assistant soccer coaches, den leaders, girl scout leaders, advancement chairs, Sunday School Teachers, youth assistants, the list goes on and on and on. We volunteered on field trips, school picnics, and in high school, we did our turn chaperoning trips, helping with sports teams, providing snacks, and everything else that it took to be involved.
We know the kids friends. We know their friends' parents. We have enjoyed every minute of raising our kids, and watching them and their friends grow. I feel like we created our own village to raise these kids together.
Has it been insane? Absolutely. There were evenings when I'd make dinner, pack it in bowls, take a blanket, and we'd eat on the side of a field somewhere. There were Saturdays when we'd change off kids in the parking lots of soccer fields around the county. Make no mistake, through it all, we ate dinner together every single night, and we always laughed about our adventures and talked through our challenges over whatever table we were seated around (or on).
Would we change any of it? Not on your life.
There are no words that describe walking into a school, a business establishment, or a doctor's office, and seeing someone who you knew when they were little. Their eyes light up, and they jump up and shout "Ms. B! It's so good to see you!" as they give you a hug. I love to see these successful, wonderful, self-assured adults that we had a small part in growing.
It's what makes the world a community. It gives us neighbors. It gives us friends.
And in this crazy world we live in, it's always nice to find an unexpected friend.
Saturday, August 31, 2013
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Store Reward Card
Our grocery store has one of those obnoxious reward cards.
You know, those hideous little key tags that they use to track your every purchase, and you have a unique number (usually your phone number) assigned just to you? Even worse, you can only get the sale prices if you use their reward cards? Only, our store doesn't let you use your phone number. You have to use your key tag, which has a unique, random number assigned to it.
Most of the time, I buckle under and use the card. I get gas reward points for allowing them to track my purchases, and if they really want to know how many rolls of toilet paper I'm buying, then more power to them.
Until yesterday.
I went to the store, and I had forgotten my key tag. Husband had taken the van, along with all of my key tags, to work with him. So, I went through the line, prepared to take the hit for the higher prices.
The cashier told me that it was "no big problem. I'll ring you through, and then you take your receipt to customer service, and they'll look you up, add the bonus points to your card for gas savings, and then give you the sale price back." Normally, I would have said "Don't worry about it", but this was over $30, and I didn't want to knuckle under that easily.
Once we were finished, she escorted me over to the Customer (dis)Service Desk, and the nightmare began.
The CSR behind the counter berated me for forgetting my card.
"Forget it," I said. "I don't need the money that much. Just give me my receipt and I'll go." I really should have walked away at that point. Really, I should have. Don't know why I didn't....
"No, she said, "I can do this for you."
She looked up my name and address, and found me, and then it got downright ugly.
"You have to many bonus cards to your address! What is this madness? There are two cards registered to you address!!"
"I know," I replied. "One is mine, one belongs to my father in law. We bought our house from him. He had a bonus card until he died, even after he moved."
"You can't have this! You are breaking the law!" She called the store manager over, and the head of Customer Service came over. At this point, I tried to leave the store, but she grabbed hold of my cart and wouldn't let me go because I was a "rule breaker".
The store manager asked what was going on, and he had already called in the store detective to come and help "deal with the situation".
At this point, I was in tears.
I explained to him, once again. "I forgot my bonus card. Your cashier was trying to help me since the savings were so significant. She brought me over here so that I could get the bonus prices. Your CSR told me that I have too many bonus cards. There are two cards registered to my address. One is for myself. The other is for my Father in Law. We bought our house from him 10 years ago. His card, registered in his name is still in your database. The man DIED a horrid death from Pancreatic Cancer almost 3 years ago, and I AM BEING HARRASSED because my DEAD father in law still has a card! LOOK in your out of date database! HE hasn't used the damn card in 3 years because he is DEAD!! I legally live in that house, and I can prove it. Will you please let me go before I SUE this store for harassment?"
At that point, the store detective advised the CSR to let go of my cart immediately and walk away.
The manager apologized profusely, and asked if I would still like my money back.
"Hell no!" I replied. "I am not interested in ANYTHING else from this store. EVER...."
Meanwhile, the head of Customer Service had taken care of my receipt, and she brought over my change, my receipt, and apologized again.
Keep in mind, I deal with this store manager and head of customer service on a regular basis when I pick up their donations for the Food Bank once a month. It's not like I'm a stranger to them. This is a small town, and people checking out had stopped to watch the show, mouths agape that I had lost my temper and was cursing. A friend of mine who is a lawyer was walking through, and had stepped into the melee, hoping to help calm things down.
Embarrassed, mortified, and exhausted, I began to walk out of the store, and the Store Manager was joking with me about my "rogue" attempts to get through the store without being tracked by their software. "You do know we have a store card that the cashiers can use, right? You won't get the gas points, but you will get the sale prices..."
And at that moment, the original CSR comes running up to us and starts screaming "Don't ever come in here again without your Bonus Card! We won't help you if you don't have your card with you!"
The store manager stopped dead in his tracks and turned around. The CSR looked at him and said "People like that shouldn't be allowed in here! They have to use the bonus card! It's the rule!"
I don't know what happened after that. I walked out and didn't look back.
But I'll tell you this, if I HAVE to bring my store card in with me to walk in the front door of the building, I'm going to find another store. It's bad enough that they track my purchases as it is, but to think that there are some people who work at the store who won't serve you if you don't use their store card is something I just can't swallow.
It is time to break the Bonus Card habit.
You know, those hideous little key tags that they use to track your every purchase, and you have a unique number (usually your phone number) assigned just to you? Even worse, you can only get the sale prices if you use their reward cards? Only, our store doesn't let you use your phone number. You have to use your key tag, which has a unique, random number assigned to it.
Most of the time, I buckle under and use the card. I get gas reward points for allowing them to track my purchases, and if they really want to know how many rolls of toilet paper I'm buying, then more power to them.
Until yesterday.
I went to the store, and I had forgotten my key tag. Husband had taken the van, along with all of my key tags, to work with him. So, I went through the line, prepared to take the hit for the higher prices.
The cashier told me that it was "no big problem. I'll ring you through, and then you take your receipt to customer service, and they'll look you up, add the bonus points to your card for gas savings, and then give you the sale price back." Normally, I would have said "Don't worry about it", but this was over $30, and I didn't want to knuckle under that easily.
Once we were finished, she escorted me over to the Customer (dis)Service Desk, and the nightmare began.
The CSR behind the counter berated me for forgetting my card.
"Forget it," I said. "I don't need the money that much. Just give me my receipt and I'll go." I really should have walked away at that point. Really, I should have. Don't know why I didn't....
"No, she said, "I can do this for you."
She looked up my name and address, and found me, and then it got downright ugly.
"You have to many bonus cards to your address! What is this madness? There are two cards registered to you address!!"
"I know," I replied. "One is mine, one belongs to my father in law. We bought our house from him. He had a bonus card until he died, even after he moved."
"You can't have this! You are breaking the law!" She called the store manager over, and the head of Customer Service came over. At this point, I tried to leave the store, but she grabbed hold of my cart and wouldn't let me go because I was a "rule breaker".
The store manager asked what was going on, and he had already called in the store detective to come and help "deal with the situation".
At this point, I was in tears.
I explained to him, once again. "I forgot my bonus card. Your cashier was trying to help me since the savings were so significant. She brought me over here so that I could get the bonus prices. Your CSR told me that I have too many bonus cards. There are two cards registered to my address. One is for myself. The other is for my Father in Law. We bought our house from him 10 years ago. His card, registered in his name is still in your database. The man DIED a horrid death from Pancreatic Cancer almost 3 years ago, and I AM BEING HARRASSED because my DEAD father in law still has a card! LOOK in your out of date database! HE hasn't used the damn card in 3 years because he is DEAD!! I legally live in that house, and I can prove it. Will you please let me go before I SUE this store for harassment?"
At that point, the store detective advised the CSR to let go of my cart immediately and walk away.
The manager apologized profusely, and asked if I would still like my money back.
"Hell no!" I replied. "I am not interested in ANYTHING else from this store. EVER...."
Meanwhile, the head of Customer Service had taken care of my receipt, and she brought over my change, my receipt, and apologized again.
Keep in mind, I deal with this store manager and head of customer service on a regular basis when I pick up their donations for the Food Bank once a month. It's not like I'm a stranger to them. This is a small town, and people checking out had stopped to watch the show, mouths agape that I had lost my temper and was cursing. A friend of mine who is a lawyer was walking through, and had stepped into the melee, hoping to help calm things down.
Embarrassed, mortified, and exhausted, I began to walk out of the store, and the Store Manager was joking with me about my "rogue" attempts to get through the store without being tracked by their software. "You do know we have a store card that the cashiers can use, right? You won't get the gas points, but you will get the sale prices..."
And at that moment, the original CSR comes running up to us and starts screaming "Don't ever come in here again without your Bonus Card! We won't help you if you don't have your card with you!"
The store manager stopped dead in his tracks and turned around. The CSR looked at him and said "People like that shouldn't be allowed in here! They have to use the bonus card! It's the rule!"
I don't know what happened after that. I walked out and didn't look back.
But I'll tell you this, if I HAVE to bring my store card in with me to walk in the front door of the building, I'm going to find another store. It's bad enough that they track my purchases as it is, but to think that there are some people who work at the store who won't serve you if you don't use their store card is something I just can't swallow.
It is time to break the Bonus Card habit.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Mom
I went to visit the new house yesterday. Very cute! It's a one story rambler. Very open floor plan, with living room, kitchen, dining room, 3 bedrooms and 2 baths. Smaller yard that the old house, so it should be less of a hassle for her. I don't know that the trees are as grown up as the trees at her old house. Two of the trees in the old house were well over 200 years old. But, there is a big tree in the front yard of the new house. Even better, there is a Crape Myrtle tree. She's always wanted a crape myrtle tree in the yard. Her mother had a collection of Crape Myrtles in her yard when she was growing up, so there is some nostalgia involved in owning a house with at least one Crape Myrtle. Lo and Behold, her house has not one, but two Crape Myrtle trees in front. Her next door neighbor also has two Crape Myrtle trees!
She will be moving into this house in two weeks. Yesterday, we went to Lowe's and bought a washer and dryer and ordered blinds for the windows. With the way her luck seems to be running, the washer and dryer were in stock. The person who will measure for the blinds will be in this morning, and the washer and dryer will be delivered at the same time. Hopefully, the blinds will be in before she has moved in. It will make her more comfortable in her new home!
If you remember my last post, the old house went on the market a couple of weeks ago.
Her house was subjected to a bidding war, and she accepted a final contract on her house 36 hours after she put the house up for sale. Even better, in this market, the house sold $10,000 above her asking price. No closing date has been listed yet, but if the deal does fall through, he agent told her not to worry, he should be able to get another offer on the house fairly fast.
Mom is both very excited and very worried about the move. I hope that all goes well for her in her new house. I hope she gets along well with her new neighbors and settles in to her new neighborhood soon.
I timed the drive down to her new house yesterday. It is 3 hours down there, through some pretty horrendous traffic around DC.
However, this is about Mom and what's best for her. I'm still young enough that I can do that kind of driving. I am exhausted the next day, but at least she will be in a location where one of us can look after her.
Slowly but surely, I am coming to accept this move as I realize that it really is all about Mom.
Nice kitchen!
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
The Sedona
I promised I would tell you about our return home, and so here it is....
We parked in the long term lot when we flew out of the airport. Contrary to the information posted on all of the signs, everywhere you look in parking lots that tell you to take your parking ticket with you, I usually leave my parking tickets under the visor. I always know where they are, and I can always find them.
So, we pull into the long term lot at the airport, and I take the ticket and put it under the visor on the driver's side.
My husband immediately pulls it back out, points to the signs posted everywhere that tell you not to leave your ticket in the car and then tells me "I'll keep track of it."
Fine by me.
So, we go to Seattle, have a great time, and fly back home. Not once do I think about getting the car back out of the long term lot. None. Nada. Never even thought to ask where the ticket was located.
Once we landed back home, the trek to our car became a trek of epic proportions... the kind of saga that Homer would write in Latin and title "The Odyssey", or maybe, since we drive a Kia, it would be more appropriately entitled "The Sedona".
Once we fought our way through the crowds and down to the baggage claim area, we waited. And waited. And waited. This was Friday night, around 7:00, and we had been on an airplane for over six hours and across three time zones at this point.
Another plane full of passengers began milling around baggage claim, and then another.
We begin to hear an insistent buzzing sound coming up through the chute where our luggage is supposed to ascend into our eagerly awaiting hands.. and the buzzing kept going.
More passengers from yet another flight stumbled into the baggage claim area and began to look stupidly around.
Finally, a disembodied voice announced: "Ladies and Gentlemen, we apologize. That buzzing sound you hear is an equipment malfunction. The conveyor belts are not working, and we are unable to deliver your luggage at this time. Thank you for your patience while we fix this situation.
A large, collective groan arose from the crowd surrounding the baggage claim area, but there was nothing that we could do. We were stuck until our luggage appeared. Trapped like rats, as it were.
Husband decided he was going to try and catch the shuttle back to the long term lot to get our car, and then he would bring it back to the airport to pick up us, and our luggage, and save us the crush on the shuttles.
He went to wait in the shuttle line, but every shuttle coming through was so packed full of people, they weren't able to take on any more passengers.
Finally, the conveyor belts started working, and the luggage magically began appearing through the luggage chutes, and people were beyond happy.
The kids and I took the luggage out to the curb, and arrived just as an empty shuttle arrived. Husband helped us load our baggage in, and then we sat down, and more people kept crowding on, and more people, and more people. Remember how we had close to six airplanes full of people waiting for their luggage? Well now, they all wanted to get to their cars and go home.
More and more people shoved themselves onto the bus. We honestly looked like we were packed in a New York subway car during rush hour. The killer was the woman who had all of her luggage in one of those wheeled grocery carts. She got on last, shoved her cart in front of her, and refused to move.
She refused to move when more people wanted to get on, and she refused to move when people wanted to get off.
When we finally arrived at our stop, we were in the back of the shuttle. I literally had to climb over the seats around her to get off the bus, because she refused to move for anyone.
By this point, it is well after 9 at night. We are all cranky and grumpy, and we wanted to get home. We were moving middle child into his dorm room the very next morning - not even 12 hours later.
We found the van, loaded it, and headed to the attendants booth to pay to get out.
And this is when the fun began.
Remember, I usually keep the tickets under the visor on the driver's side. The attendant asked for our ticket, and my husband reached into the visor, but it wasn't there. He looked at me and said "What did you do with it?"
"You took it," I said. "Remember, you said you didn't want it sitting here in the car while we were gone."
He searched his wallet. I searched my wallet. We searched all the hidey holes. The attendant told us we were blocking traffic and told us to back out and find our ticket.
We searched the glove compartment. We searched the floor. I searched my purse. Husband searched his backpack.
Finally, he pulled out his suitcase. Searching by the light from my phone, he finally found the parking ticket- buried deep within an interior pocket on the inside of his suitcase.
10:03, we pulled up to the attendant's booth and paid. We arrived at our front door right at 11:00. Starved, we hit up the pizza I had put in the freezer before we left "just in case" we were starved when we walked in the door.
Ugh.. what a day.
From now on, I am leaving the parking tickets for my car under the visor on the driver's side of my car. Someone could always steal it, but at least I won't be searching for it in the dark, by the light of my phone, in a rain-soaked parking lot.
We parked in the long term lot when we flew out of the airport. Contrary to the information posted on all of the signs, everywhere you look in parking lots that tell you to take your parking ticket with you, I usually leave my parking tickets under the visor. I always know where they are, and I can always find them.
So, we pull into the long term lot at the airport, and I take the ticket and put it under the visor on the driver's side.
My husband immediately pulls it back out, points to the signs posted everywhere that tell you not to leave your ticket in the car and then tells me "I'll keep track of it."
Fine by me.
So, we go to Seattle, have a great time, and fly back home. Not once do I think about getting the car back out of the long term lot. None. Nada. Never even thought to ask where the ticket was located.
Once we landed back home, the trek to our car became a trek of epic proportions... the kind of saga that Homer would write in Latin and title "The Odyssey", or maybe, since we drive a Kia, it would be more appropriately entitled "The Sedona".
Once we fought our way through the crowds and down to the baggage claim area, we waited. And waited. And waited. This was Friday night, around 7:00, and we had been on an airplane for over six hours and across three time zones at this point.
Another plane full of passengers began milling around baggage claim, and then another.
We begin to hear an insistent buzzing sound coming up through the chute where our luggage is supposed to ascend into our eagerly awaiting hands.. and the buzzing kept going.
More passengers from yet another flight stumbled into the baggage claim area and began to look stupidly around.
Finally, a disembodied voice announced: "Ladies and Gentlemen, we apologize. That buzzing sound you hear is an equipment malfunction. The conveyor belts are not working, and we are unable to deliver your luggage at this time. Thank you for your patience while we fix this situation.
A large, collective groan arose from the crowd surrounding the baggage claim area, but there was nothing that we could do. We were stuck until our luggage appeared. Trapped like rats, as it were.
Husband decided he was going to try and catch the shuttle back to the long term lot to get our car, and then he would bring it back to the airport to pick up us, and our luggage, and save us the crush on the shuttles.
He went to wait in the shuttle line, but every shuttle coming through was so packed full of people, they weren't able to take on any more passengers.
Finally, the conveyor belts started working, and the luggage magically began appearing through the luggage chutes, and people were beyond happy.
The kids and I took the luggage out to the curb, and arrived just as an empty shuttle arrived. Husband helped us load our baggage in, and then we sat down, and more people kept crowding on, and more people, and more people. Remember how we had close to six airplanes full of people waiting for their luggage? Well now, they all wanted to get to their cars and go home.
More and more people shoved themselves onto the bus. We honestly looked like we were packed in a New York subway car during rush hour. The killer was the woman who had all of her luggage in one of those wheeled grocery carts. She got on last, shoved her cart in front of her, and refused to move.
She refused to move when more people wanted to get on, and she refused to move when people wanted to get off.
When we finally arrived at our stop, we were in the back of the shuttle. I literally had to climb over the seats around her to get off the bus, because she refused to move for anyone.
By this point, it is well after 9 at night. We are all cranky and grumpy, and we wanted to get home. We were moving middle child into his dorm room the very next morning - not even 12 hours later.
We found the van, loaded it, and headed to the attendants booth to pay to get out.
And this is when the fun began.
Remember, I usually keep the tickets under the visor on the driver's side. The attendant asked for our ticket, and my husband reached into the visor, but it wasn't there. He looked at me and said "What did you do with it?"
"You took it," I said. "Remember, you said you didn't want it sitting here in the car while we were gone."
He searched his wallet. I searched my wallet. We searched all the hidey holes. The attendant told us we were blocking traffic and told us to back out and find our ticket.
We searched the glove compartment. We searched the floor. I searched my purse. Husband searched his backpack.
Finally, he pulled out his suitcase. Searching by the light from my phone, he finally found the parking ticket- buried deep within an interior pocket on the inside of his suitcase.
10:03, we pulled up to the attendant's booth and paid. We arrived at our front door right at 11:00. Starved, we hit up the pizza I had put in the freezer before we left "just in case" we were starved when we walked in the door.
Ugh.. what a day.
From now on, I am leaving the parking tickets for my car under the visor on the driver's side of my car. Someone could always steal it, but at least I won't be searching for it in the dark, by the light of my phone, in a rain-soaked parking lot.
Monday, August 26, 2013
First Day of School
My best wishes and thoughts go with those of you who had children starting school today - whether for the first time, or the tenth time!
Pictures from the Pacific North West
Heading out past Olympia.
Crescent Lake
Look at that stunning water!
These are just a few of the hundreds of pictures that I took. I didn't put my best pictures up. I'm still working on a project with those! I hope I'll be able to share it with you soon!
Sunday, August 25, 2013
My Frugal Goals
With the start of a new school year, and only one child living at home, I decided that we need to reset our frugal goals for the year, and set some new long term goals for us.
Long Term:
1) Bathroom-
We need to put a tub in the kids bathroom, and we need to connect the plumbing to the tub. There is currently no tub in the bathroom, just a hole where the tub used to be. I am estimating the cost of the tub, surround, and installation will come up to $5,000. We will have this project finished by this time next year.
2) Textbooks-
Now that we have paid for this semester's books, we need to start saving for next semester's books. Each of the boys will contribute $200 to the cost of their books. On average, the books have been costing us $600/semester. My goal is to save $800 for the textbooks. If we don't need that full amount, we will save the difference and roll it over to next semester.
*Long term, I am looking at saving up almost $6,000 over the next year, with $800 going towards textbooks. I'd really love to have that bathroom functioning again sometime soon! According to my calculations, we need to save around $116 every week in order to have the $6000 to pay cash for the books and for the bathroom repairs.
This Week's Goals:
3) Meatless Mondays-
Any meal where meat is not served is inherently cheaper than a meal where meat is served. Mondays will be meat-free from now on. (This includes lunch!)
4) Salvage the strawberry patch.
Our strawberry patch was invaded by Appalachian Mounding Ants this past year. These mean little buggers dig holes, bite, and killed off my strawberries. I gave up on doing anything with the strawberries at all last summer, and haven't dealt with that corner of the yard since then. The patch was in a raised bed, so this past fall, we pulled the surrounding bed supports out of the ground and put it into the shed. I've found a new place for my strawberry bed that is closer to the house, and closer to water. I need to put the raised bed into the new location, and then see if there are still any strawberries left in the old patch to salvage that can go into the new patch.
5) Can spaghetti sauce.
The tomatoes are going gangbusters. It's time!
6) Finish the T-shirt quilt for middle child.
7) Go grocery shopping and stock up for a month.
I will plan out our meals for the next month. One stop at the grocery store should hold me for the next month.
8) I will get out and exercise at least 3 days this week. I know it's not frugal now... it's for the future. The better my health now, the less chance I will have of having a long-term chronic condition in the future. This in turn will keep our long term health expenses down as we will have fewer medical expenses as we age.
9) I will line dry 3 loads of laundry.
10) I will begin working on the calendars that I give out to family every year. These calendars contain pictures of our family, and go to the grandparents.
Lofty goals!
Long Term:
1) Bathroom-
We need to put a tub in the kids bathroom, and we need to connect the plumbing to the tub. There is currently no tub in the bathroom, just a hole where the tub used to be. I am estimating the cost of the tub, surround, and installation will come up to $5,000. We will have this project finished by this time next year.
2) Textbooks-
Now that we have paid for this semester's books, we need to start saving for next semester's books. Each of the boys will contribute $200 to the cost of their books. On average, the books have been costing us $600/semester. My goal is to save $800 for the textbooks. If we don't need that full amount, we will save the difference and roll it over to next semester.
*Long term, I am looking at saving up almost $6,000 over the next year, with $800 going towards textbooks. I'd really love to have that bathroom functioning again sometime soon! According to my calculations, we need to save around $116 every week in order to have the $6000 to pay cash for the books and for the bathroom repairs.
This Week's Goals:
3) Meatless Mondays-
Any meal where meat is not served is inherently cheaper than a meal where meat is served. Mondays will be meat-free from now on. (This includes lunch!)
4) Salvage the strawberry patch.
Our strawberry patch was invaded by Appalachian Mounding Ants this past year. These mean little buggers dig holes, bite, and killed off my strawberries. I gave up on doing anything with the strawberries at all last summer, and haven't dealt with that corner of the yard since then. The patch was in a raised bed, so this past fall, we pulled the surrounding bed supports out of the ground and put it into the shed. I've found a new place for my strawberry bed that is closer to the house, and closer to water. I need to put the raised bed into the new location, and then see if there are still any strawberries left in the old patch to salvage that can go into the new patch.
5) Can spaghetti sauce.
The tomatoes are going gangbusters. It's time!
6) Finish the T-shirt quilt for middle child.
7) Go grocery shopping and stock up for a month.
I will plan out our meals for the next month. One stop at the grocery store should hold me for the next month.
8) I will get out and exercise at least 3 days this week. I know it's not frugal now... it's for the future. The better my health now, the less chance I will have of having a long-term chronic condition in the future. This in turn will keep our long term health expenses down as we will have fewer medical expenses as we age.
9) I will line dry 3 loads of laundry.
10) I will begin working on the calendars that I give out to family every year. These calendars contain pictures of our family, and go to the grandparents.
Lofty goals!
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Move In Day
Today was move in day at college for middle child.
We came home from the West Coast last night. After several glitches which I will describe another day, we finally arrived home last night at 10:30.
A very quick night's sleep, and we were up again this morning at 7 am.
Fortunately, middle child had packed everything up before we left on vacation. Once we were all up and dressed, we pulled all of our suitcases out of the van and then put all of his boxes and clothes into the van.
Unlike many schools, only the freshman moved in today. Everyone else will move in on Monday.
The school held the cars at the traffic control point, and then would let a car through as another car pulled out, and you were directed to the open parking space. 20 minute unloading is strictly enforced in front of the dorms. While middle child was checking into his dorm, we unloaded the van under a tree, and then I sat and waited with his stuff while DH moved the van to the designated long term parking area. As ungainly as this system seems, we only waited 10 minutes to be directed to a space directly in front of son's dorm room.
Moving his stuff in, unpacking, and making his bed took us another 20 minutes.
After he was settled into his room, we went and bought his books. Fortunately, he is going to the same school as oldest child, and majoring in the same field. (Mathematics). We rented many of his textbooks, and oldest child is loaning him a couple of textbooks that he had held onto.
We ate lunch in the dining hall with him, and then waved good-bye and took off.
One of my cousins texted me this afternoon and asked if leaving him at school and taking off was terribly hard.
"Not really," I replied. "I think we were both relieved when he was moved in and his uncertainty is over. He is in his dorm room, and he is happily settled into his new situation."
I know when I went to college, I was relieved when my mother decided that she was done and took off. It felt like the first time in months that I had been able to relax, and it was the first time I'd ever been able to make my own decisions. It was an empowering moment for me!
For all of the parents who are sending kids off to college for the first time, or for the third time, I wish all of you lots of peace, lots of happiness, and joy. Joy for what is to come, and joy for the new challenges all of us are facing- both our kids, and us - who are facing the challenge of empty, or at least smaller, nests.
We came home from the West Coast last night. After several glitches which I will describe another day, we finally arrived home last night at 10:30.
A very quick night's sleep, and we were up again this morning at 7 am.
Fortunately, middle child had packed everything up before we left on vacation. Once we were all up and dressed, we pulled all of our suitcases out of the van and then put all of his boxes and clothes into the van.
Unlike many schools, only the freshman moved in today. Everyone else will move in on Monday.
The school held the cars at the traffic control point, and then would let a car through as another car pulled out, and you were directed to the open parking space. 20 minute unloading is strictly enforced in front of the dorms. While middle child was checking into his dorm, we unloaded the van under a tree, and then I sat and waited with his stuff while DH moved the van to the designated long term parking area. As ungainly as this system seems, we only waited 10 minutes to be directed to a space directly in front of son's dorm room.
Moving his stuff in, unpacking, and making his bed took us another 20 minutes.
After he was settled into his room, we went and bought his books. Fortunately, he is going to the same school as oldest child, and majoring in the same field. (Mathematics). We rented many of his textbooks, and oldest child is loaning him a couple of textbooks that he had held onto.
We ate lunch in the dining hall with him, and then waved good-bye and took off.
One of my cousins texted me this afternoon and asked if leaving him at school and taking off was terribly hard.
"Not really," I replied. "I think we were both relieved when he was moved in and his uncertainty is over. He is in his dorm room, and he is happily settled into his new situation."
I know when I went to college, I was relieved when my mother decided that she was done and took off. It felt like the first time in months that I had been able to relax, and it was the first time I'd ever been able to make my own decisions. It was an empowering moment for me!
For all of the parents who are sending kids off to college for the first time, or for the third time, I wish all of you lots of peace, lots of happiness, and joy. Joy for what is to come, and joy for the new challenges all of us are facing- both our kids, and us - who are facing the challenge of empty, or at least smaller, nests.
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Marissa Mayer
There has been a lot of press recently over Marissa Mayer's "sexy" photo shoot in Vogue magazine. Nobody has asked my opinion, but I'm going to offer it, anyway.
Ms. Mayer's photo is beautiful. Make no mistake, she shows that a powerful woman is also capable of being a sexy woman. Kudos to her for being willing to take the risk and jump out there and keep her name, as well as the name of her company out there in the spotlight. She is doing an excellent job of getting Yahoo! In the press. Honestly, when was the last time you heard this much about Yahoo!? The company has been around for a long time, but has been largely out of mind of most Internet users. Marissa has changed that in a big way in her tenure as CEO.
But, there is a concern that I have, and it relates to my age. I am 48. I grew up in an era when women were fighting hard to be taken seriously in the work place. Smart women were fighting hard to he seen as anything other than sex objects. The women who are just 10 years older than I am fought pitched battles to be seen as the equal of any man. Heck, I am good friends with one of the first 10 women EVER to be admitted to the Naval Academy. The stories she tells about her fight for equality between the sexes in an institution of higher education are unbelievable. I'd like to think the world has changed since then.
But, has it changed that much?
Do men truly see us as their intellectual equals? Have we progressed to the point where we can be successful without having to resort to sex appeal to get ahead?
Lets look at the hugely successful, innovative men out there in the business world. Men like Dean Kamen, Bill Gates, and Donald Trump. I've never seen any of them in a seductive photo spread in any magazine. I've met Dean Kamen several times. Every time, he's been dressed in hiking boots, blue jeans, and a denim shirt. Very rarely do you see him in a magazine, period.
Wait, there was that one young congressman, Aaron Schock, who posed for a photo spread in Men's Health, showing off his very fine physique. I can't tell you anything about his politics, don't even know where he's from, or whether he's a democrat or republican, but I do know that he has rock hard abs and a fine looking...umm, wait, I digress.
I guess it boils down to one core question:
Do you want to be known as a sex object first, or do you want to be known for your business acumen first?
Only time will tell if this was the right decision for them at this point in their careers.
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Vacationing on a Dime
We are a family of 5. Vacationing can be very expensive! Last year, we decided to forgo our vacation in favor of staying home, so that we could save for this years' vacation.
Some hints for saving money on vacation from our family:
1) We booked airfare months in advance, when the rates were low.
2) We use public transportation, and our feet, for the majority of the time. We used the light rail to get from the airport to the hotel, and we used buses, light rail, and walked a lot in Seattle. There's nothing quite like hauling luggage through the subway system in a strange city...
3) We always book a hotel with a mini-fridge. That way, we can keep our milk, lunch meat and other goodies cold.
4) Keeping the above statement in mind, we pack our lunch every day. Sandwiches, reusable water bottles, carrot sticks, etc. are all things you will find in our family backpack for lunch.
5) if our room happens to have a microwave, we will find something at the grocery store that we can heat up for dinner. Since we are in the Pacific Northwest, we brought my favorite big bowl, small cutting board and small knife with me. (Checked through in my luggage). We've been stopping at Farmer's Markets and picking up salad makings for dinner each night. I've been known to take my crock pot with me in hotels with a small kitchenette, and then we have dinner waiting for us when we get back for the night.
6) We did end up renting a car to get up into the mountains. However, we're only paying for the rental on the days we are actually traveling. We will be returning our car one day before we fly out. The hotel where we are staying will shuttle us to the airport free of charge.
Those are some of our tricks for saving money on vacation. What do you do to save money on the road?
Sunday, August 18, 2013
Seattle Public Library
I love libraries. I believe that a good library, and people who use it, are crucial to the continued success of our Democracy. Only with a well read population can we continue to flourish.
Reading Room on the top floor. Everyone here asked me to take their picture! We're all such library nerds! :)
Today, we visited what is possibly the most unique and innovative urban library in the country. Lauded internationally for its architecture and design, the Seattle Public Library has become a destination for everyone who loves libraries.
When we were there, the library was packed with people, tucked into every corner, working, reading, and researching.
Here are the pictures that I took today in the library. It's a beautiful building!
Water fountain by the front entrance.
Random Pictures
Random Pictures from Seattle.
Space Needle in the back, monorail in the front.
The sign on the back of this classic bus read: Two Old Hippies...
Starfish in the Seattle Aquarium.
Still more starfish. They're so pretty!
Cute otter! Seattle Aquarium.
Seattle from the water.
Pike Place Market. What an amazing place! Open air farmers market, right next to the waterfront! Okay, there's a huge hill to climb to get from the water to the market. It's actually called the "Hill Climb".
I'll just go ahead and apologize now. I'm uploading pictures from my phone, and I'm lousy at it. I'll caption these at a later time!
What do you know? It turns out I could caption the pictures after all! Don't credit me, though. I'm pretty sure it's an upgrade in the Blogger software!
We are headed up into the mountains for the wedding. I'll post pictures when I can, but Internet and Cell access is very limited where we are headed!
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Plastic Bags
It all seems so simple. You go to the store,your groceries are put in a plastic bag, and you take them home. Most times, I remember to bring my reusable grocery bags in from the trunk of the car.
Except when you go to a place where plastic bags have been outlawed. We are in Seattle this week. One of our cousins is getting married, and we are here a little early, exploring the area.
Seattle doesn't allow those thin, flimsy grocery bags. You either bring your own, or you pay $1.50 for each bag. We stopped by Safeway last night to pick up groceries on our way home, and we don't have our bags with us. We ended up paying for plastic bags.
Admittedly, these are really nice bags. They are a heavy duty plastic that will last for quite some time. I just wasn't expecting the additional cost of the bags!
However, in my quest to cut expenses and live more sustainably, I do need to become more aware of the costs -both the obvious and the hidden - of everything I consume.
So, besides the $4.50 we laid out for plastic bags, it made me think a little deeper about the nature of plastic bags a little more. Here are these bags, used to help me get my groceries home. They are made from plastic -a by product of oil. Oil prices are going through the roof.
We really don't think about the consequences of using a non-renewable resource for a one-time grocery run. We casually toss them away. I know when I'm home, I see those thin bags wrapped in the upper branches of trees almost everywhere I go. I know that there is a long term consequence to using those bags.
But, I need to pull myself back to my original point. Plastic bags.
So, this morning when we left the hotel, I folded up the plastic bags and stashed them into our backpack. When we stopped by Safeway on the way back tonight, we pulled them out and used them.
We were still using plastic bags, but I can honestly say that we've used these bags twice now. I feel morally obligated to use these until they fall apart.
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Sustainability
I have decided that living sustainably is not only good for the environment, it is good for our planet, and it is an easy way to live frugally.
It all began with a water bottle.
I have been trying to drink more water and less soda. I would buy a water bottle at school, and refill it during the day. On my way out the door, I would dump it into the recycling bin.
I added up the cost of water bottles at the end of last September, and realized that I had spent over $30 on water bottles.
So, I began to look into my options. I can't carry glass into a classroom. The chances of it falling onto a floor, shattering, and injuring a child are pretty high. I'm not a fan of stainless steel - the mouths are very narrow, I can't get ice cubes inside, and I don't like the taste of water that has been in metal for any length of time. That left me with plastic. And so began my search for a BPA free water bottle. I finally found one with a flip top lid, and a colorful enough design that I wouldn't forget it at the end of a day of subbing.
I've been using this bottle for almost a full year. I've saved well over $300 on water bottles since then.
Yesterday, I had my greatest Ah-Hah! moment yet. I found out that I can take my empty water bottle through security in the airport, and then fill it in the water fountain before I get on the airplane. I looked at the price of water bottles in the airport after I went through security - $3.50. That is more than I paid for this bottle!
Good for the planet, good for my wallet. My water bottle is keeping plastic out of the landfill. Plastic that is made from an oil by-product. An oil by-product that costs more to produce than any of us realize.
Do you have a reusable water bottle?
It all began with a water bottle.
I have been trying to drink more water and less soda. I would buy a water bottle at school, and refill it during the day. On my way out the door, I would dump it into the recycling bin.
I added up the cost of water bottles at the end of last September, and realized that I had spent over $30 on water bottles.
So, I began to look into my options. I can't carry glass into a classroom. The chances of it falling onto a floor, shattering, and injuring a child are pretty high. I'm not a fan of stainless steel - the mouths are very narrow, I can't get ice cubes inside, and I don't like the taste of water that has been in metal for any length of time. That left me with plastic. And so began my search for a BPA free water bottle. I finally found one with a flip top lid, and a colorful enough design that I wouldn't forget it at the end of a day of subbing.
I've been using this bottle for almost a full year. I've saved well over $300 on water bottles since then.
Yesterday, I had my greatest Ah-Hah! moment yet. I found out that I can take my empty water bottle through security in the airport, and then fill it in the water fountain before I get on the airplane. I looked at the price of water bottles in the airport after I went through security - $3.50. That is more than I paid for this bottle!
Good for the planet, good for my wallet. My water bottle is keeping plastic out of the landfill. Plastic that is made from an oil by-product. An oil by-product that costs more to produce than any of us realize.
Do you have a reusable water bottle?
Saturday, August 10, 2013
Extended Warranty Plans
I'm not usually a fan of extended warranty plans. I don't buy them for my cars. I don't buy them for my computers.
But, over the past years, there have been a few things I have bought the extended warranties for.
When oldest child was 6, he failed the eye exam at school and had to wear glasses. When we bought the glasses, they offered me a one year warranty for an additional $24. I took a long look at the kid, who gave me his best "Who Me?" look back, and decided it might be a good idea. Almost every six weeks for the next year, we were back in the store, getting frames replaced, lenses replaced, or earpieces replaced. I still have no idea how he broke the damn things so much, but for the extra cost of $24, we were able to keep him in glasses for a year.
Our old Honda Accord. We had not bought the extended warranty on the thing, but we were out in Colorado. (Far, far from here!) The car died, and we had it towed to the nearest Honda dealership. We were expecting the worst. Thousands of miles from home, with our only form of transportation in the shop, we thought we were going to owe thousands of dollars. It turns out our car broke down 1,000 miles before the original warranty (5 years/ 50,000 miles) ran out. All of the repairs were done by Honda. We paid $36 for an oil change.
When we started buying cell phones for the children, we also bought the insurance with them. Not sure why, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. We've always used the AT&T company store, and the insurance we use is offered through them.
Oldest child's cell phone died earlier this summer, so we took it back to the AT&T store, and it was replaced by the insurance with the current version of the model most closely related to his phone. That phone was 4 years old, and I am still in shock not only that the phone lasted that long, but also that the insurance replaced it.
This week, I had the biggest shock, ever. I have an i-Phone. When I bought it in December of 2011, I went ahead and bought Apple's Extended Warranty. "There's money I'll never see again," I said to myself. I promptly forgot that I had the warranty, and went on with my life. This week, my phone died on me. I headed back to the AT&T store where I bought my phone, expecting to have to fork over money for a new phone, an early termination fee, and to be locked into a new plan for two more years.
Imagine my surprise when the Customer Service Representative looked up my phone number and said "You have Apple's Extended Warranty. This should be covered." He then proceeded to make an appointment for me at the Genius Bar at the nearest Apple store, making certain that they had all of my information.
I showed up at the Apple store at the appointed time, spoke with an Apple Genius, and they went to work on my phone. 15 minutes later, I had a new phone in my hand. For no charge. My Genius set it up for me, and I was out the door. I've never been happier in my life! I didn't have to pay for a new phone, I didn't have to pay an early termination fee, and I didn't have to lock myself into two more years on my cell phone plan.
I'll always wonder whether or not extended warranties and extra insurance are worth my money. But, after yesterday, I know that with the hand-held electronics we have become so dependent upon, it is definitely worth the money.
But, over the past years, there have been a few things I have bought the extended warranties for.
When oldest child was 6, he failed the eye exam at school and had to wear glasses. When we bought the glasses, they offered me a one year warranty for an additional $24. I took a long look at the kid, who gave me his best "Who Me?" look back, and decided it might be a good idea. Almost every six weeks for the next year, we were back in the store, getting frames replaced, lenses replaced, or earpieces replaced. I still have no idea how he broke the damn things so much, but for the extra cost of $24, we were able to keep him in glasses for a year.
Our old Honda Accord. We had not bought the extended warranty on the thing, but we were out in Colorado. (Far, far from here!) The car died, and we had it towed to the nearest Honda dealership. We were expecting the worst. Thousands of miles from home, with our only form of transportation in the shop, we thought we were going to owe thousands of dollars. It turns out our car broke down 1,000 miles before the original warranty (5 years/ 50,000 miles) ran out. All of the repairs were done by Honda. We paid $36 for an oil change.
When we started buying cell phones for the children, we also bought the insurance with them. Not sure why, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. We've always used the AT&T company store, and the insurance we use is offered through them.
Oldest child's cell phone died earlier this summer, so we took it back to the AT&T store, and it was replaced by the insurance with the current version of the model most closely related to his phone. That phone was 4 years old, and I am still in shock not only that the phone lasted that long, but also that the insurance replaced it.
This week, I had the biggest shock, ever. I have an i-Phone. When I bought it in December of 2011, I went ahead and bought Apple's Extended Warranty. "There's money I'll never see again," I said to myself. I promptly forgot that I had the warranty, and went on with my life. This week, my phone died on me. I headed back to the AT&T store where I bought my phone, expecting to have to fork over money for a new phone, an early termination fee, and to be locked into a new plan for two more years.
Imagine my surprise when the Customer Service Representative looked up my phone number and said "You have Apple's Extended Warranty. This should be covered." He then proceeded to make an appointment for me at the Genius Bar at the nearest Apple store, making certain that they had all of my information.
I showed up at the Apple store at the appointed time, spoke with an Apple Genius, and they went to work on my phone. 15 minutes later, I had a new phone in my hand. For no charge. My Genius set it up for me, and I was out the door. I've never been happier in my life! I didn't have to pay for a new phone, I didn't have to pay an early termination fee, and I didn't have to lock myself into two more years on my cell phone plan.
I'll always wonder whether or not extended warranties and extra insurance are worth my money. But, after yesterday, I know that with the hand-held electronics we have become so dependent upon, it is definitely worth the money.
Friday, August 9, 2013
Update on My Mom
A couple of weeks ago, I mentioned that my Mom was having issues with her eyes. She has blood pooling behind her retina. You can read the original post here:
http://mini-van-mom.blogspot.com/2013/07/moms-eyes.html
So, in the past couple of weeks, things have moved along very quickly.
She has bought a house down the street from my sister. She has lived in her current house for 35 years. The house is in an ideal location, as it is an hour away from each of us. This has made it a wonderful destination for family gatherings over the years.
But now, she's moving down the street from my sister. It's well over 2 hours from here, down Highway 95, around Washington DC, and through the hideous Northern Virginia traffic, and then down another hour south. Life, it is a changin'.
She is getting her current house ready to sell. Yesterday, we went down to her house and spent one of the most hellacious days I've had in quite some time.
Middle child hasn't been home for most of the summer. The last time he saw Grammy was in May, just before his graduation.
Now that he's home, and this is his break between working at camp and going back to school, we made plans to go down to her house for the day. We were going to take Mom out to lunch, run loads of stuff to Goodwill, and let middle child have some quality time with Grammy.
I was in for a rude awakening. We got to Mom's house just before noon, and my sister had decided to come over for the day. She was loading up stuff to take to Goodwill. She had already taken the chairs that were supposed to be mine - given to the family by my Grandmother on my Dad's side 30 years ago. They're gone. So are my Fisher Price toys that I specifically asked her to save out for me the last time we talked. So were the handmade inlaid wood pictures my Dad had made that I had asked her to save. So was the shotgun my great-great grandfather carried when he fought in the Civil War. By the time I got to Goodwill, they were already gone. I would be okay if they had gone to my sister's house, but no, they went to Goodwill. Family heirlooms, given away to strangers in a fit of whatever it is.
But still, this isn't about me, it's about my Mom. We need to do what is best for her.
We pulled in, and she immediately put the kids to work loading stuff into her car.
Then, she pulled out to go run errands, and told us she'd be right back.
I told Mom that we should head out and get lunch, or head out to a restaurant and then text my sister, let her know where we were, and have her meet us there. No go. Mom refused to budge until my sister got back.
My sister pulls into the driveway behind me, blocking me in, brings in a rotisserie chicken- one chicken for 6 people - eats about half of it, and then starts cleaning like a ferocious, angry, possessed woman.
Meanwhile, my youngest child is with me, and she is a vegetarian. Mom hasn't been to the store in over a week, so there is very little in the house, and there is nothing for a lactose intolerant vegetarian to eat.
I asked my sister if she could move her car so that I could get out, and she told me she "wasn't moving her car until the house was cleaned." Frustrated beyond words, we began cleaning. I cleaned out the tracks in the windows. I sliced my finger open on the tracks... Youngest child was beyond starved, but I had nothing to give her, and my car was sandwiched in. No way out.
I cleaned baseboards. I cleaned cobwebs. The kids pitched in and cleaned windows and magic erasered the walls. We loaded the stuff for Goodwill that was still sitting in the front yard.
Throughout it all, I kept reminding myself that this wasn't about me, this was about my Mom.
At 5, I told my sister I had to leave. I loaded my kids in the car, and at 5:30, she finally ambled out with Mom and her youngest daughter and they took off.
We were starved. I showed up at Mom's house having had a Starbucks coffee and a piece of pumpkin bread. At 1, I split what was left of a chicken thigh with middle child.
We went straight to Wegman's and grabbed dinner from the hot bar. We went upstairs to eat dinner, and recover from the emotional stress of the day.
At this point in the day, youngest child had had a piece of pumpkin bread, a banana, and two popsicles. She downed a salad, a bag of nuts, and a hunk of bread. The poor thing was starved.
But again, we reminded ourselves that this was about Grammy, not us. Grammy's house is going up on the market a week from this coming Sunday, and she wants to move the house quickly.
After our fruitless stop at Goodwill, we finally left for home. The hideous Washington traffic was worse than usual, and it took us 3 hours to get home last night, even though we left Northern Virginia after 7:00, when traffic has usually begun to die down.
This morning, I looked through my e-mails and found a note from my Mom.
"I just realized" she wrote, "That she had nothing to eat. There was no food for her, and your sister wouldn't let you get your car out to go get food. I'm sorry. I should have realized that was what you were trying to say when you kept saying "I need to go to the store and get something for her to eat." I couldn't understand why she wasn't content with the chicken."
I know, I know, this is about my Mom, and what's best for her. It's not about me.
But I'll tell you, when I couldn't sleep last night, it was all about me.
I really do need to let this go somehow. But how?
http://mini-van-mom.blogspot.com/2013/07/moms-eyes.html
So, in the past couple of weeks, things have moved along very quickly.
She has bought a house down the street from my sister. She has lived in her current house for 35 years. The house is in an ideal location, as it is an hour away from each of us. This has made it a wonderful destination for family gatherings over the years.
But now, she's moving down the street from my sister. It's well over 2 hours from here, down Highway 95, around Washington DC, and through the hideous Northern Virginia traffic, and then down another hour south. Life, it is a changin'.
She is getting her current house ready to sell. Yesterday, we went down to her house and spent one of the most hellacious days I've had in quite some time.
Middle child hasn't been home for most of the summer. The last time he saw Grammy was in May, just before his graduation.
Now that he's home, and this is his break between working at camp and going back to school, we made plans to go down to her house for the day. We were going to take Mom out to lunch, run loads of stuff to Goodwill, and let middle child have some quality time with Grammy.
I was in for a rude awakening. We got to Mom's house just before noon, and my sister had decided to come over for the day. She was loading up stuff to take to Goodwill. She had already taken the chairs that were supposed to be mine - given to the family by my Grandmother on my Dad's side 30 years ago. They're gone. So are my Fisher Price toys that I specifically asked her to save out for me the last time we talked. So were the handmade inlaid wood pictures my Dad had made that I had asked her to save. So was the shotgun my great-great grandfather carried when he fought in the Civil War. By the time I got to Goodwill, they were already gone. I would be okay if they had gone to my sister's house, but no, they went to Goodwill. Family heirlooms, given away to strangers in a fit of whatever it is.
But still, this isn't about me, it's about my Mom. We need to do what is best for her.
We pulled in, and she immediately put the kids to work loading stuff into her car.
Then, she pulled out to go run errands, and told us she'd be right back.
I told Mom that we should head out and get lunch, or head out to a restaurant and then text my sister, let her know where we were, and have her meet us there. No go. Mom refused to budge until my sister got back.
My sister pulls into the driveway behind me, blocking me in, brings in a rotisserie chicken- one chicken for 6 people - eats about half of it, and then starts cleaning like a ferocious, angry, possessed woman.
Meanwhile, my youngest child is with me, and she is a vegetarian. Mom hasn't been to the store in over a week, so there is very little in the house, and there is nothing for a lactose intolerant vegetarian to eat.
I asked my sister if she could move her car so that I could get out, and she told me she "wasn't moving her car until the house was cleaned." Frustrated beyond words, we began cleaning. I cleaned out the tracks in the windows. I sliced my finger open on the tracks... Youngest child was beyond starved, but I had nothing to give her, and my car was sandwiched in. No way out.
I cleaned baseboards. I cleaned cobwebs. The kids pitched in and cleaned windows and magic erasered the walls. We loaded the stuff for Goodwill that was still sitting in the front yard.
Throughout it all, I kept reminding myself that this wasn't about me, this was about my Mom.
At 5, I told my sister I had to leave. I loaded my kids in the car, and at 5:30, she finally ambled out with Mom and her youngest daughter and they took off.
We were starved. I showed up at Mom's house having had a Starbucks coffee and a piece of pumpkin bread. At 1, I split what was left of a chicken thigh with middle child.
We went straight to Wegman's and grabbed dinner from the hot bar. We went upstairs to eat dinner, and recover from the emotional stress of the day.
At this point in the day, youngest child had had a piece of pumpkin bread, a banana, and two popsicles. She downed a salad, a bag of nuts, and a hunk of bread. The poor thing was starved.
But again, we reminded ourselves that this was about Grammy, not us. Grammy's house is going up on the market a week from this coming Sunday, and she wants to move the house quickly.
After our fruitless stop at Goodwill, we finally left for home. The hideous Washington traffic was worse than usual, and it took us 3 hours to get home last night, even though we left Northern Virginia after 7:00, when traffic has usually begun to die down.
This morning, I looked through my e-mails and found a note from my Mom.
"I just realized" she wrote, "That she had nothing to eat. There was no food for her, and your sister wouldn't let you get your car out to go get food. I'm sorry. I should have realized that was what you were trying to say when you kept saying "I need to go to the store and get something for her to eat." I couldn't understand why she wasn't content with the chicken."
I know, I know, this is about my Mom, and what's best for her. It's not about me.
But I'll tell you, when I couldn't sleep last night, it was all about me.
I really do need to let this go somehow. But how?
Thursday, August 8, 2013
Amelia Peabody
If you have never had the privilege of meeting Amelia Peabody, I would like to introduce you to one of the greatest female heroines ever penned.
Amelia begins her journey in Victorian England in the late 19th century. She is a smart, intelligent woman who has been confined by the strictures of society in which she lives. She spends her days taking care of her father and reading as much as she can.
Her life takes a drastic turn when her father dies and she finds herself the sole beneficiary of her father's vast fortune.
The first thing Amelia does is to arrange a trip for herself to visit the sights of the ancient world. With the determination that marks everything she does, she arranges herself a trip to Italy, followed by a trip to Egypt. Keeping convention in mind, she hires a chaperon for herself, because it would be unseemly for a woman in her thirties to travel by herself...
While traveling through Rome, Amelia meets Evelyn, a young English woman who has been tricked and abandoned, left to fend for herself in a strange country with no resources other than her wits. When Amelia discovers Evelyn, she finds the sister she has never had. Determined to continue on her journey through the ancient world, Amelia hires Evelyn to be her chaperon, and sends her original chaperon back to England.
Upon arriving in Egypt, Amelia finds her passion in life: Egyptology.
Resigned to the fact that, as a woman, she will never be able to research or dig, or make a significant contribution to the field of Egyptology, she is still determined to learn all that she can, and visit as many sites of historical significance as is possible.
And then, Amelia meets Radcliffe Emerson, and that changes everything.
Emerson is like a bull in a china shop. Loud, and determined to get his own way. He is a leading authority on Egyptology, and his brother, Walter, is one of the top experts in the world on Hieroglyphics.
When Emerson and Peabody meet for the first time, sparks fly, people are outraged, and Emerson's "magnificent temper" is displayed for the very first time.
And thus begins the most amazing love story ever told through the course of literature.
Emerson and Peabody are an amazing couple. Peabody breaks the bounds of Victorian society, by not only being an authority on Egyptology, she also speaks her mind, works excavations with her husband, and engages in the questionable, yet daring practice of wearing PANTS when working in the heat or climbing in and out of "dusty old tombs".
Throughout the series of books, Amelia and Radcliffe work together to become the leading authorities on Egyptology. They also battle villains, thieves, and other dangers every dig season.
As the series grows, so do the characters. All of the main characters change, grow, and age. New perspectives are added to the stories as the children grow, and new insights are added to the stories.
Throughout the entire series, the palpable love between Peabody and Emerson drives a hard line through the story, centering the reader on the importance of love and respect in any relationship.
These absolutely brilliant novels are written by the fabulous Elizabeth Peters, aka Barbara Mertz. Mrs. Mertz writes a compelling tale, set in a time when big discoveries were being made in Egypt every season. She writes about the struggles of smart women to contribute to society at a time when doing so was strongly discouraged. She makes the reader feel as if she is invincible, just because she spent some time with the Emerson family.
Barbara Mertz has written titles under the name Elizabeth Peters, Barbara Michaels, and Barbara Mertz. In all, she has more than 35 titles to her name. Her non-fiction books on Ancient Egypt are still in print.
Sadly, Barbara Mertz passed away today. You can link to her obituary in the Washington Post here: http://www.washingtonpost.com/entertainment/books/barbara-mertz-writer-better-known-as-barbara-michaels-and-elizabeth-peters-dies-at-85/2013/08/08/e92bb442-004b-11e3-9a3e-916de805f65d_story.html
I feel as if I've lost one of my best friends, and I never even met the woman. She truly was one of the greatest mystery authors of our time. It's not often you find a funny, smart, and challenging mystery to read. I'm going to miss her.
Amelia begins her journey in Victorian England in the late 19th century. She is a smart, intelligent woman who has been confined by the strictures of society in which she lives. She spends her days taking care of her father and reading as much as she can.
Her life takes a drastic turn when her father dies and she finds herself the sole beneficiary of her father's vast fortune.
The first thing Amelia does is to arrange a trip for herself to visit the sights of the ancient world. With the determination that marks everything she does, she arranges herself a trip to Italy, followed by a trip to Egypt. Keeping convention in mind, she hires a chaperon for herself, because it would be unseemly for a woman in her thirties to travel by herself...
While traveling through Rome, Amelia meets Evelyn, a young English woman who has been tricked and abandoned, left to fend for herself in a strange country with no resources other than her wits. When Amelia discovers Evelyn, she finds the sister she has never had. Determined to continue on her journey through the ancient world, Amelia hires Evelyn to be her chaperon, and sends her original chaperon back to England.
Upon arriving in Egypt, Amelia finds her passion in life: Egyptology.
Resigned to the fact that, as a woman, she will never be able to research or dig, or make a significant contribution to the field of Egyptology, she is still determined to learn all that she can, and visit as many sites of historical significance as is possible.
And then, Amelia meets Radcliffe Emerson, and that changes everything.
Emerson is like a bull in a china shop. Loud, and determined to get his own way. He is a leading authority on Egyptology, and his brother, Walter, is one of the top experts in the world on Hieroglyphics.
When Emerson and Peabody meet for the first time, sparks fly, people are outraged, and Emerson's "magnificent temper" is displayed for the very first time.
And thus begins the most amazing love story ever told through the course of literature.
Emerson and Peabody are an amazing couple. Peabody breaks the bounds of Victorian society, by not only being an authority on Egyptology, she also speaks her mind, works excavations with her husband, and engages in the questionable, yet daring practice of wearing PANTS when working in the heat or climbing in and out of "dusty old tombs".
Throughout the series of books, Amelia and Radcliffe work together to become the leading authorities on Egyptology. They also battle villains, thieves, and other dangers every dig season.
As the series grows, so do the characters. All of the main characters change, grow, and age. New perspectives are added to the stories as the children grow, and new insights are added to the stories.
Throughout the entire series, the palpable love between Peabody and Emerson drives a hard line through the story, centering the reader on the importance of love and respect in any relationship.
These absolutely brilliant novels are written by the fabulous Elizabeth Peters, aka Barbara Mertz. Mrs. Mertz writes a compelling tale, set in a time when big discoveries were being made in Egypt every season. She writes about the struggles of smart women to contribute to society at a time when doing so was strongly discouraged. She makes the reader feel as if she is invincible, just because she spent some time with the Emerson family.
Barbara Mertz has written titles under the name Elizabeth Peters, Barbara Michaels, and Barbara Mertz. In all, she has more than 35 titles to her name. Her non-fiction books on Ancient Egypt are still in print.
Sadly, Barbara Mertz passed away today. You can link to her obituary in the Washington Post here: http://www.washingtonpost.com/entertainment/books/barbara-mertz-writer-better-known-as-barbara-michaels-and-elizabeth-peters-dies-at-85/2013/08/08/e92bb442-004b-11e3-9a3e-916de805f65d_story.htmlI feel as if I've lost one of my best friends, and I never even met the woman. She truly was one of the greatest mystery authors of our time. It's not often you find a funny, smart, and challenging mystery to read. I'm going to miss her.
Monday, August 5, 2013
Affording College
I've written several blog posts on affording college recently. Since I have two kids in college, it is something I'm becoming familiar with. My argument is that no one should take out a loan to afford college. Working, work study, internships, co-op education, scholarships, AP classes, do whatever it takes to pay cash as much as possible. Even if it means taking 5 years to get a degree, getting that degree debt free should be the goal.
I picked up a few new hints that I did not know about when I was at freshman orientation with middle child that I thought I'd pass on to you.
1) Payment Plans
Most colleges now offer a payment plan, where the cost of tuition is broken up over several months. So, say tuition and fees for the fall semester is $6000, if you use the payment plan, you can break that payment down into 6 payments of $1,000 each.
The only caveat here is that most schools require that your student be a full time student in order to take advantage of this payment plan.
2) Scholarships
There are still scholarships out there that are available for students. They are small, but every little amount helps cut money out of your bottom line. There aren't many scholarships available for the fall, but there are several still out there for the spring semester. Even if it's only for $250, that's $250 YOU don't have to fork over.
Colleges have these scholarships listed on their financial aid web site.
3) IMPORTANT NOTE
Almost all colleges use the Free Federal Financial Aid (FAFSA) to determine the amount of financial aid your child will receive.
The important thing to note here is that it is FREE. If any web site or financial aid site is asking for money in order to qualify for aid, walk away. (Words from the Financial Aid counselors at my son's school.)
If your circumstances suddenly change dramatically during the year, you lose income, or some other catastrophic event takes place, immediately contact the financial aid officer at your school. The counselors there will do their best to help you achieve your dreams.
I picked up a few new hints that I did not know about when I was at freshman orientation with middle child that I thought I'd pass on to you.
1) Payment Plans
Most colleges now offer a payment plan, where the cost of tuition is broken up over several months. So, say tuition and fees for the fall semester is $6000, if you use the payment plan, you can break that payment down into 6 payments of $1,000 each.
The only caveat here is that most schools require that your student be a full time student in order to take advantage of this payment plan.
2) Scholarships
There are still scholarships out there that are available for students. They are small, but every little amount helps cut money out of your bottom line. There aren't many scholarships available for the fall, but there are several still out there for the spring semester. Even if it's only for $250, that's $250 YOU don't have to fork over.
Colleges have these scholarships listed on their financial aid web site.
3) IMPORTANT NOTE
Almost all colleges use the Free Federal Financial Aid (FAFSA) to determine the amount of financial aid your child will receive.
The important thing to note here is that it is FREE. If any web site or financial aid site is asking for money in order to qualify for aid, walk away. (Words from the Financial Aid counselors at my son's school.)
If your circumstances suddenly change dramatically during the year, you lose income, or some other catastrophic event takes place, immediately contact the financial aid officer at your school. The counselors there will do their best to help you achieve your dreams.
Saturday, August 3, 2013
My Frugal Accomplishments
This week hasn't been full of successes. It's been a week where we've been out, buying the last of the "stuff" that middle child needs for college. All in all, it's been an expensive week, but I've done the best I could to cut back as much as I could.
1) The t-shirt quilt.
I was going to buy batting for the quilt, but an older neighbor of ours is cleaning out her house. She offered (and I accepted) a roll of batting that is working perfectly in the quilt.
I don't have a special sewing machine that quilts, or a long arm sewing machine. And I'm not willing to pay someone to run my quilt through their machine. I quilt by hand. I pulled out my quilting hoop from the basement, and I've been quilting like mad for the last three days. I've finished three of the 25 squares that make up this quilt. I'd like to think I'm going to have this done by the first day of school, but I'm not getting the "warm fuzzies" when I think about finishing it on time.
2) The computer.
I was able to find a computer that met the school specifications on sale. I bought this with my store loyalty card, and I will receive a portion of the purchase price back on a rewards coupon. I'll use that rewards coupon to buy school supplies as soon as it comes in.
3) School Supplies.
I hit up the back to school sales pretty hard over the summer. I buy things that are an excellent price, and then store them on a set of shelves in our basement, kind of like our very own version of a school store. He was able to pull everything he will need to use this fall off of the shelves. Spirals, pens, pencils, highlighters, notebooks. That is a relief. I'll still need to restock the supplies soon, but at least I'll be able to do so as the items go on sale.
4) Cooking from Scratch.
No convenience foods this week, but I've hit up a lot of prepared foods that I made earlier and stored in the freezer. Veggie Lasagna, Chicken and Rice Casserole, Taco Kits, and Pizza Crusts were all used. I saved a lot of money by pulling food that I had prepared in advance instead of hitting up a fast food place or buying something quick and easy from the grocery store. That's why I bother to cook in larger quantities, after all.
5) Salsa.
I've made my first batch of salsa this week. Unfortunately, only two pints were actually canned. We ate the rest. I make my salsa with heirloom tomatoes and other veggies from the farmer's market. Words just can't describe how GOOD home made salsa is.
6) Art Supplies
This is a huge expense every year. Youngest child is an artist. The cost of art supplies can be out of control. I am always on the prowl for items she is going to need. This week, we hit the jack pot. One of the big chain craft stores was offering 20% off art supplies for any student who brought in a student ID. Not only were we able to take advantage of the discount, many of the needed supplies were on sale.
AND THEN- we stopped into Big Lots to see what they had in stock this week. Lo and Behold, it was MORE art supplies. Paints, both acrylic and watercolor, and paintbrushes, were on sale for an unbelievably low price. We combined this purchase with our store loyalty card.
Finally, I stopped at a different chain craft store on a whim this week on my way to pick the boys up from camp. Sketch Books are easily the biggest expense. I dread buying them, and she always needs at least 3, if not 4, every year. They are normally $15-$20. Wouldn't you know, her favorite sketchbooks were on sale for $5 each. Yes, I was the crazy lady doing the happy dance in aisle 5.
All totaled, we bought a good chunk of her art supplies for this year for less than $50.
7) Air Conditioning
It's been a fairly cool week here in the Mid-Atlantic. We've been able to keep the a/c off all week. It seems silly, but the days without the a/c on really, really take money off of the bill.
8) I line dried 3 more loads of laundry.
I've already started planning my route through the back to school sales tomorrow. There are some incredible deals out there on paper!
1) The t-shirt quilt.
I was going to buy batting for the quilt, but an older neighbor of ours is cleaning out her house. She offered (and I accepted) a roll of batting that is working perfectly in the quilt.
I don't have a special sewing machine that quilts, or a long arm sewing machine. And I'm not willing to pay someone to run my quilt through their machine. I quilt by hand. I pulled out my quilting hoop from the basement, and I've been quilting like mad for the last three days. I've finished three of the 25 squares that make up this quilt. I'd like to think I'm going to have this done by the first day of school, but I'm not getting the "warm fuzzies" when I think about finishing it on time.
2) The computer.
I was able to find a computer that met the school specifications on sale. I bought this with my store loyalty card, and I will receive a portion of the purchase price back on a rewards coupon. I'll use that rewards coupon to buy school supplies as soon as it comes in.
3) School Supplies.
I hit up the back to school sales pretty hard over the summer. I buy things that are an excellent price, and then store them on a set of shelves in our basement, kind of like our very own version of a school store. He was able to pull everything he will need to use this fall off of the shelves. Spirals, pens, pencils, highlighters, notebooks. That is a relief. I'll still need to restock the supplies soon, but at least I'll be able to do so as the items go on sale.
4) Cooking from Scratch.
No convenience foods this week, but I've hit up a lot of prepared foods that I made earlier and stored in the freezer. Veggie Lasagna, Chicken and Rice Casserole, Taco Kits, and Pizza Crusts were all used. I saved a lot of money by pulling food that I had prepared in advance instead of hitting up a fast food place or buying something quick and easy from the grocery store. That's why I bother to cook in larger quantities, after all.
5) Salsa.
I've made my first batch of salsa this week. Unfortunately, only two pints were actually canned. We ate the rest. I make my salsa with heirloom tomatoes and other veggies from the farmer's market. Words just can't describe how GOOD home made salsa is.
6) Art Supplies
This is a huge expense every year. Youngest child is an artist. The cost of art supplies can be out of control. I am always on the prowl for items she is going to need. This week, we hit the jack pot. One of the big chain craft stores was offering 20% off art supplies for any student who brought in a student ID. Not only were we able to take advantage of the discount, many of the needed supplies were on sale.
AND THEN- we stopped into Big Lots to see what they had in stock this week. Lo and Behold, it was MORE art supplies. Paints, both acrylic and watercolor, and paintbrushes, were on sale for an unbelievably low price. We combined this purchase with our store loyalty card.
Finally, I stopped at a different chain craft store on a whim this week on my way to pick the boys up from camp. Sketch Books are easily the biggest expense. I dread buying them, and she always needs at least 3, if not 4, every year. They are normally $15-$20. Wouldn't you know, her favorite sketchbooks were on sale for $5 each. Yes, I was the crazy lady doing the happy dance in aisle 5.
All totaled, we bought a good chunk of her art supplies for this year for less than $50.
7) Air Conditioning
It's been a fairly cool week here in the Mid-Atlantic. We've been able to keep the a/c off all week. It seems silly, but the days without the a/c on really, really take money off of the bill.
8) I line dried 3 more loads of laundry.
I've already started planning my route through the back to school sales tomorrow. There are some incredible deals out there on paper!
Friday, August 2, 2013
Freshman Orientation
I went with middle child to his college yesterday and today for course selection and orientation.
The kids were pretty quickly separated from their parents, and taken off by themselves to enjoy time learning about their new school away from their parents.
Sadly, since this is my second child in college, and my second child at the same school, I really didn't want to sit through the parent orientations, but I felt it was my duty to do so. I wish I had gone ahead and left... it was a rough day.
As the first speaker began, the mother sitting directly behind me began to cry. Not just little tears, but deep, heaving sobs. She couldn't deal with the fact that her "baby" was going to be leaving her in three weeks. She couldn't believe that the school expects the children to be responsible for turning in their assignments on time, and that she couldn't meet with and speak to his professors, since she would be able to give them so much useful information.
Unfortunately, I ended up getting paired with her. I believe it was unfortunate for her, because I don't see any of this as a great tragedy. I see it as a wonderful opportunity.
Finally, I couldn't take it any more. She was telling me how she wouldn't be able to function without him, because he was living on campus - 10 minutes away from home. She talked about how much danger he was going to be in. So, I finally let her have my thoughts on the subject...
"You do realize that in the eyes of the law, he is an adult. He is old enough to fight and die for his country. He is going to college. He is not joining the Marines and being sent to Afghanistan or Iraq, where every day is a crap shoot, and you won't know if he's safe, or if he's dead. You don't have to worry about solemn officers showing up at your door telling you that your son has had an accident. He is going to college to major in Engineering. For God's sake, be thankful for what you have: a healthy son, going to school ten minutes away from home and him realizing his dreams."
There ended up being a dead silence around us. I felt like I was in the cone of shame. She picked up her belongings and walked away from me, and sat down in another corner and started crying again. The parents sitting around me looked at me, kind of appalled, and kind of bemused, and then someone smiled, and they asked me to join their group.
Maybe not the best way I've ever dealt with a situation, but really... her son is alive and healthy. She has much to be thankful for.
After that, the rest of the day progressed without incident.
Middle child and I met up at the end of the day, and we looked at his schedule. 16 hours worth of classes, and ALL of them are on Monday and Wednesday, starting at noon and ending at 8 p.m. He's working on trying to move some of those classes around now, but so far, he hasn't had any luck.
I do have to mention one more parent incident.
We were sitting in the Q & A session with representatives of every major department on campus.
"I have a question." said one mother: "I think it's for housing, but it probably also involves security."
"On move in day, do I actually have to help her move in, or can I just slow down and push her and all of her stuff out of the van and then not look back?"
The kids were pretty quickly separated from their parents, and taken off by themselves to enjoy time learning about their new school away from their parents.
Sadly, since this is my second child in college, and my second child at the same school, I really didn't want to sit through the parent orientations, but I felt it was my duty to do so. I wish I had gone ahead and left... it was a rough day.
As the first speaker began, the mother sitting directly behind me began to cry. Not just little tears, but deep, heaving sobs. She couldn't deal with the fact that her "baby" was going to be leaving her in three weeks. She couldn't believe that the school expects the children to be responsible for turning in their assignments on time, and that she couldn't meet with and speak to his professors, since she would be able to give them so much useful information.
Unfortunately, I ended up getting paired with her. I believe it was unfortunate for her, because I don't see any of this as a great tragedy. I see it as a wonderful opportunity.
Finally, I couldn't take it any more. She was telling me how she wouldn't be able to function without him, because he was living on campus - 10 minutes away from home. She talked about how much danger he was going to be in. So, I finally let her have my thoughts on the subject...
"You do realize that in the eyes of the law, he is an adult. He is old enough to fight and die for his country. He is going to college. He is not joining the Marines and being sent to Afghanistan or Iraq, where every day is a crap shoot, and you won't know if he's safe, or if he's dead. You don't have to worry about solemn officers showing up at your door telling you that your son has had an accident. He is going to college to major in Engineering. For God's sake, be thankful for what you have: a healthy son, going to school ten minutes away from home and him realizing his dreams."
There ended up being a dead silence around us. I felt like I was in the cone of shame. She picked up her belongings and walked away from me, and sat down in another corner and started crying again. The parents sitting around me looked at me, kind of appalled, and kind of bemused, and then someone smiled, and they asked me to join their group.
Maybe not the best way I've ever dealt with a situation, but really... her son is alive and healthy. She has much to be thankful for.
After that, the rest of the day progressed without incident.
Middle child and I met up at the end of the day, and we looked at his schedule. 16 hours worth of classes, and ALL of them are on Monday and Wednesday, starting at noon and ending at 8 p.m. He's working on trying to move some of those classes around now, but so far, he hasn't had any luck.
I do have to mention one more parent incident.
We were sitting in the Q & A session with representatives of every major department on campus.
"I have a question." said one mother: "I think it's for housing, but it probably also involves security."
"On move in day, do I actually have to help her move in, or can I just slow down and push her and all of her stuff out of the van and then not look back?"
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