A Word From the Cat

This is Luna.  I am the beautiful, young princess cat of this house.  I rule with a furry paw.

Things in this house have been dull recently.

My humans had moved a delightful new toy into the living room.  It was lovely... It had a bowl of water at the bottom, I could reach up and dig my beautiful nails in, and sometimes, I could climb up into it, and sit in it, surrounded by a forest of green needles, and watch my subjects move around about me.  They even covered this amazing toy with lots of little toys for me!  I could sit on the floor and swat at them, or climb up and hit the bonus ones - you know, the ones that go "CRASH" when they hit the floor.  The humans never put those fun toys at the bottom.  They always put them near the top.  Silly humans... don't they know by now that by moving them up higher, hitting them became more of a challenge?

My beautiful new toy disappeared over the last week.  I don't know why they took it away?  I wasn't done with it!

I hate to tell you this, but my humans... sometimes, they let the food in my dish get so low that I can actually SEE THE BOTTOM OF THE DISH!!  Can you believe this?  I let them know when I can see the bottom of my dish by picking up paws full of food and throwing them across the room.

My boyfriend, Tiger, has gotten an attitude lately.  I don't know what is up with him.  I know he likes to pretend that he is all tough and distant, but this is getting ridiculous.  He was sleeping on the bed with "Mom" and "Dad" the other day.  They all looked so cozy, I decided to hop up and snuggle up with him.  As soon as I hopped up on the bed, can you believe it?  He HISSED AT ME!  That's right!  He dared to HISS at the Princess.  Well, I showed him!  I made my very best bushy tail at him, and I HOWLED at him to let him know that I did not appreciate him telling me what I could and could not do.  Can you believe that he dared to swat me?  Me?  The Princess?  He swatted me across the face with his paw!!  Well, I just can't stand that kind of challenge to my authority, so I charged him and swatted him back - with my CLAWS OUT, and I showed my teeth and howled some  more.
And then, oh, the indignity of it all... just as it was getting fun, and we were having some awesome roll around and hit and bite each other time, "Dad" picked us both up and tossed us both outside.  He was muttering some nonsense about it being "3 in the morning". 

Picky.

No more human oppression of cats!  No more!  I will not stand for this!

I have let the humans know of my displeasure by typing this on the laptop.  I will continue to let them know of my displeasure by staging a hostile takeover of this computer!  I shall sleep on the keyboard for the rest of the day!  It's mine, mine I tell you!

That is all for now!

Princess Luna