Lessons Learned in College

Daughter went to school out of state.  Very far out of state.  She went to Georgia - 12 hours away from home.

Funny thing happens when you go that far away from home - you begin to appreciate your home more.  You begin to appreciate where you grew up, and recognize that maybe - just maybe - your parents knew what they were doing when they bought the house in the neighborhood where you have spent the last ten years.

She has not been happy in Georgia, and will be transferring to the Community College in the spring.

I did want to share some of her experiences.  There are some lessons to be learned here for all of us - no matter what our age or stage of life.

First of all, the weird.  The drywall in her room collapsed.  She called housing and they told her to "submit a work order and we'll get to it".  Five days later, they finally got to it and replaced the drywall.  Meantime, her room was without drywall, and housing refused to move the girls to another room.  They expected them to stay in that room, with drywall on the floor, until they got to it.  Even though I called and argued with them, they refused to move faster because "the wall is already down, so it's not like it's going to fall again", and "they're not the only ones who have drywall down, and nobody else is complaining."  So, we put her up in a hotel until they cleaned up the drywall.  Housing left the girls with an air filter to help deal with all of the dust.  Meanwhile, their toilet spontaneously flushes every time the people above them flush their toilet.  I guess the good news is that nothing is coming UP in their toilet.  Oh, and the door knob on the bathroom failed last week, and my daughter was trapped in the bathroom.  Her roommate tried to get their RA to help, but she just told them to "fill out a work order".  They called housing and were told to "fill out a work order".  The girls finally got the doorknob off with a screwdriver.  Good thing they didn't wait for housing.  It was 72 hours after they submitted the work order before anyone from maintenance showed up.  I told her they should have called 911- that would, maybe, have made the University move a little bit faster.

Her school is in a city, spread all over the city in different buildings.  Her Freshman Experience class moved it's location to a building that was not on the bus line.  She got off the bus to get to class and promptly got turned around.  She was out, in the rain, without an umbrella, and couldn't find her building.  After half an hour of roaming, a pair of tourists helped her find her way to class.  She is very grateful to the couple that helped her, and wishes she could thank them again.

She went to the public library, where she ran into the pervert of the city.  I've always warned her that public libraries can be sketchy places.  (I've worked in a public library, and trust me - just like any public building - you want to keep your guard up.  We tend to be lax in a library BECAUSE it's a library.)  Fortunately, she was quick witted, walked away, and reported him to the librarian on duty.

Sometimes, when the dining hall says they'll be serving regional food, that means that you're getting Alligator for dinner.  As a vegetarian who is allergic to dairy, she's had a remarkably tough time getting food she can eat in the dining hall.  (Alligator isn't meat, according to the dining hall staff.)

Because you're dependent upon public transportation in a big city, you must also be aware of the transportation schedule and realize that buses can break down, or traffic can be a bear.  Leaving for class 2 hours early builds in a very nice time cushion when the inevitable happens.

One of the campus ministries in town runs a pancake breakfast on Fridays since there are no classes on Friday.  She went, and there were no spaces at any of the tables.  She sat down at a table by herself - and there she remained.  Nobody spoke to her, nobody said hello to her, nobody invited her to come sit with them, nobody came and sat with her.  This one is a huge lesson for us.  We all need to reach out to the strangers among us.  I am beyond upset at this turn of events.  This is a campus ministry run by our denomination, and my husband and I were both heavily involved in this ministry when we were in college.  It's supposed to be a place where you can go, feel welcomed, and at least have someone greet you.  And nobody reached out to her.  NOBODY.  And here she is, in the south, which is supposedly known for it's hospitality, and yet nobody bothered to reach out to her.  This was a huge fail on the part of the kids involved in the ministry.  And the adults.

Same thing happened to her when she went to church.  Nobody greeted her, no one even shook her hand, and during the passing of the peace, she was passed right over.  NOT what you'd expect from a church right next to campus.  You'd expect someone to reach out and say hello.  (Again, I thought the south was known for it's hospitality?  You'd never find someone ignored during the passing of the peace at our church, here in the north - no matter what you look like.)  Again, another opportunity to reach out to a very lost college student gone.

After spending a good chunk of this semester attempting to meet people, and make friends, she has given up.  She eats alone in the dining halls.  She has gone to meetings of different clubs and organizations, and has made no friends (too many cliques), and there is no common area in the dorms, so there is no place for the students to congregate and meet each other.

It's sad, because she told me that she knows of at least 20 people from her various classes that are going home at the end of the semester.  If that's 20 people from 4 classes - about 100 people total - then how many people are leaving across the school?

Just some thoughts. I'm sure she's had a hand to play in the entire friend thing.  I'm not certain what happened since I'm not there, but she is a very fiesty, outgoing, funny young lady.   Make no mistake, I'll be thrilled to have her back home.  I'll be thrilled to have her taking care of her cat.  The cat really misses her.  But I'm very disappointed that this was her college experience.  I expected more of the college - and of the churches that serve the community around that college.